March 25, 2014 by Courtney
“Hope enters the picture when we come to believe that a power greater than ourselves, our Higher Power, Jesus Christ, can and will restore us.” Celebrate Recovery Bible Devotional, Day 4
One of my biggest struggles is that I daily believe the lie that He won’t restore me… that instead He will allow me to continue in my anxiety. I’m working to get past that lie, but it’s hard after seeing what happened to Joey (my brother).
You see, Joey desired to be restored most of his life. From about the age of 14-15 until he died at the age of almost 29, he struggled with deep depression. He did everything he knew to do… from going to different doctors and counselors, trying almost every medication available, being in and out of hospitals, and seeking God through this (until he felt that God wouldn’t heal him). He gave up after working so hard because he just couldn’t do it anymore. He came to a point in which his only hope for restoration was to take his own life.
So my struggle is that if God wouldn’t restore Joey here on earth, why would he choose to restore me?
It’s still hard to understand this whole thing… I just want to not struggle with anxiety (for more than a few days). That’s all. Is that too much to ask? If He is planning on restoring me, why hasn’t He restored me yet? Why do I still struggle? If He was going to restore Joey, why didn’t He?
Through all of the work that I’ve done, this is where I’m stuck. This is what I don’t understand and is what I’m having a hard time getting past.
Today, I will do my best to believe these truths:
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6
“It is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose.” Philippians 2:13
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
It’s not about what I do to be restored, but about what God can and will do in and through me. The problem is, I try so hard in my own power much of the time. I’m doing all of this “work,” but I’m not believing the truths that are in His word, and I’m not trusting Him to restore me. I have to believe that God has a plan for all of this for His glory, and that He will restore me… it will be His will, His way, and His timing.
The Celebrate Recovery workbook’s lesson this week is about sanity… The definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result each time.” Sanity is “wholeness of mind; making decisions based on truth.”
Today, I am choosing to make decisions based on the truth that God can and will restore me… it just may not be in the way that I expect. The insanity of doing things the same way (trying to cope on my own, doing things in my own control) has to be changed to sanity (relying on His power and letting go of control).
Believing lies leads to insanity and destruction. Believing truth leads to sanity and restoration.
I don’t have to be stuck. I can choose to move forward. Some days are harder than others… though with His power, it is possible.