May 21, 2014 by Courtney
I have learned so much over these past few weeks that I feel as though I could fill up pages of this post with it. But at the same time, it’s really hard to put everything into words.
Instead, I’ll do a bulleted list, and try to keep it simple :-).
- God ALWAYS provides. Always. Every. Single. Time. He has shown me in so many ways that He can be trusted with our finances, and He will show His faithfulness.
- God used a difficult situation in our life to bring us to a new church where we feel at home, already. We couldn’t have imagined changing churches a few months ago, but this is very obviously where God wants us. I can’t wait to see what He does in and through us there!
- My plan is SO not God’s plan and vice-versa. I have held onto an idea of what I thought I should be doing coming fall, and God has slammed doors shut, making it very obvious that my plan is not His. Instead of what I thought I’d be doing (we won’t go there), I will be subbing and working with the PTA at my kiddos’ school. And I am at complete. peace. Even though it wasn’t my plan, I trust that it is His because He has made it very clear to me.
- My body isn’t the way I would want it to be. And that’s okay. I have gained weight, and I don’t know why. I run 12-14 miles per week. And it’s all okay. I run because I enjoy running. I eat because I like to eat (okay, I also NEED to eat). I don’t focus on eating perfectly anymore, and it’s freeing. I live life. I may be a size bigger, but who cares. Robert reminds me that he would rather me be a larger size and just enjoying life, than a smaller size, worrying about every little bite I eat and obsessing about it all. He would rather me live and enjoy backpacking, playing games, having a date night with yummy food, etc, than be obsessed with food like I have been for years. It’s all worth it.
- One of the biggest things that I’m learning is that I am not anxiety and depression. I am Courtney. This is a factor in my life, but unless I stop identifying myself AS my illness, people will continue identifying me as my illness. I have made great strides in the past several months. I have grown tremendously. I am ready to move forward in life and start identifying myself as ME, not my illness. I can’t wait to see what God does in and through me as I follow Him and trust Him in this.
- Through all of these things that I’ve been learning, God is bringing a new contentment that I have been hungry for over the past several years. He is showing me that trusting Him is the only way.