June 3, 2014 by Courtney
I struggle with blogging these days. I have been torn apart in some ways for sharing my heart, so I’m scared… scared to be me. Though as I figure out who me is, I realize that maybe I haven’t been me all along. I’ve been creating this identity in mental illness, in the name of being real, and in the middle of that, I’ve made my identity my mental illness. Sounds complicated but it’s really not. I’ve been frustrated at people for seeing me as a label, but how can they not if I label myself?
So I am working to find this line, this very fine line… between being real and sharing my heart, but not making my mental illness my identity.
This is why I haven’t been writing as much. This is a very difficult task.
It’s difficult, but oh so important. And possible.
You see, I’m so much more than a mental illness says I am. I’m an individual created by the God of all the universe. He has a greater purpose than any mental illness says I have.
I’m peeling the layers back. Every time I peel one back, I find more mess there, but God is cleaning it up and clearing it out. With each cleaned layer, I finding more of me and more freedom.