If it’s Not One Thing it’s Another

I’ve been kind of down lately…

I thought I had found “the answer” to my insomnia.  And in some ways I did.  I sleep great!  I wake up some, but I’m always able to go back to sleep.  The only problem is… I’m so tired in the morning that I have a really hard time getting out of bed.  This medicine knocks me flat!  I’m going to have to start setting an early alarm just to get out of bed at a decent time (after hitting snooze a bunch of course).  I hate that!  I thought with homeschooling and summer I wouldn’t need an alarm.  My fear is that I will just turn it off and roll back over.  So with this, I’ve been down.

I also haven’t had much desire to keep my house clean and be in a routine.  I believe it’s because of feeling knocked out by my meds.  Sleep is such a huge part of mental health and I feel like if it’s not one thing it’s another.

On a positive note…

My doctor wrote a really convincing letter for disability about my mental health condition.  He has made it very clear that I cannot work, and I have struggled to work since I was 21 (true!).  My official diagnoses are bipolar 2, generalized anxiety disorder, and chronic insomnia.  I knew that I had bipolar 2 and anxiety, but I didn’t realize what my actual diagnoses were.  It helped me to feel justified in applying for disability and that I really have actual illnesses that are debilitating.

Homeschooling…

We have taken part of May and all of June off so far from homeschooling.  I’ve tried to implement a “read for 20 minutes” time every day and it has not gone well.  Ethan fights it with everything he has, every single day.  And the complaint I get from him is that the books are all too hard.  I’m at a loss.  So because of this, I decided to start school back up in July.  We need to get him reading and he needs reading instruction.    I’ve just decided to start over on level 2 and do the lessons again.  I think that will be sufficient.  Plus, we didn’t finish our curriculum so we can maybe get caught up if we start early.  We will only do reading, math, and some writing.  It’ll just be about 45 minutes-an hour of school each day.  I’ll also read aloud to them each day.  We started Boxcar Children book 1 and didn’t get that far into it!  Looking forward to reading them more books in that series.

At the moment I’m learning to just take things one day at a time.  I’m hoping that things start working themselves out and I am sleeping well without feeling worn, Ethan starts doing better with reading, and I get disability.  In the mean time, I try to enjoy being with my family.  Every single day is precious.

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