I have been in treatment for 25 days now and leave on Thursday. Last night started the discharge phase of treatment with a silent reflection time (5 hours).
I have learned so much.
One of the biggest things is that I have been trying to do things on my own, and I haven’t been seeking God to help me with my addiction (partly because I was in denial that I was addicted). Part of the twelve steps in the program teaches that we have a higher power (my higher power is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ) to give us what we need to overcome addiction along with the twelve steps, having a sponsor, etc.
I have gained a lot of new, good friends. I have been reminded over and over again that I’m worth the work. I am loved by my creator and He wants me well.
A lot has changed because of my time here. I am no longer homeschooling. For 90 days I will be focusing on recovery (driving to town 5 days a week to go to AA, see a counselor for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and something called EMDR). After that AA will ALWAYS be part of my life. I will go twice-three times a week probably forever. Robert and I have gained a new found communication that has been lacking. I have come to realize that I have a lot to offer because of my mental illnesses and this new found addiction. God can and will use it for His glory.
I have started to see the good in who God made me to be. At the beginning of my time here, I couldn’t come up with anything positive to say about myself. Everyone in my process group had so many great things to say about me and I couldn’t see it. I am seeing a lot of the things now.
I have been voted president of our community this week. It has been fun and interesting. I’ve never been voted for anything in the past so it boosted my self esteem a lot.
I start discharge group tomorrow at 8am. I will go over how to focus on my mind, body, and spirit in my recovery.
God is good… and I have seen Him working so much here. I can’t wait to get home and see how He will use me there!