November 13, 2016 by Courtney
When I went into La Hacienda, I had no idea what was to come! I went in thinking it would be 30 days out of my life, then I would come home and live the life I was living when I went in.
Little did I know… life was about to change completely.
The day I met with my case manager/counselor for the first time, I realized that I could no longer go on as I was.
She told me the first time we met that she recommends 90 meetings in 90 days. This includes AA and counseling. I said, “but I homeschool!” She said, well however you can make it work, you need to. The relapse rate is really high in the three months after rehab, so everyone there recommends that. At that point she told me that sobriety isn’t just rehab then done. It’s a life-long commitment to AA and working the program. I felt like someone had ripped my heart out. But in that moment I knew what I needed to do.
I called Robert and he thought it was great that I was thinking about putting the kids in school. He said that if they were in school, they could be home instead of at my parents’. Not that being at my parents’ was a bad thing, but it wasn’t home. Plus, they weren’t able to do much school there.
It took a few days of me praying through it. Mostly for my heart to be okay with this huge change.
I called the kids and just asked how they would feel about going to school. Karis immediately started crying saying she wants to be homeschooled. The boys were all about it.
I talked with Robert and he reminded me that Karis would be okay if we made the decision to put them in school. But my mama heart hurt for her.
I continued to pray.
The next day I called to tell them that we were going to put them into school. Karis was actually *excited*! Her heart had changed.
And that was that. They were not going to be homeschooled anymore.
I have since realized that homeschooling was actually driving me to drink more. It was causing me a ton of anxiety, and I didn’t realize it. I have been selling curriculum the past few days and it has brought me so much peace!
On another note… something else that is different is how we are approaching Christmas this year! The kids no longer believe in Santa (which is a huge relief!). We have decided that we are only buying them four gifts: want, need, wear, read. When I told them this, Levi got upset that he was only going to received one toy. I asked him what Christmas is all about, and he told me “Jesus!” He immediately stopped being upset. We are not buying gifts for any adults this year, and we are going to give to a family in need instead of buying for our niece and nephew. Christmas will be about Jesus and family this year! I’m so excited about that.
We ended up putting our Christmas stuff yesterday! I know it’s early, but that’s just me :-). I love Christmas and enjoy celebrating it as long as possible! It brings me so much peace to have the Christmas tree up with lights and listening to Christmas music. It reminds me of the beautiful times in my life. I have always loved Christmas!
My grandpa made this for me the year I got married! I love it!
We need some more lights. We’ll get some more this week. I can see big holes in the tree :-).
I moved the coffee table into my room to make room for the tree. I love all the lamp light in our room! The shelves were moved in there when we gave the “school room” to Levi as his own room!
After cleaning out all of the curriculum from our cabinet, I decided to use it for crafts again! There is also a stack of holiday books.
On another note… the kids had their first program at school on Friday! It was for Veteran’s Day! They had so much fun!
Our new life is so good! Tomorrow starts my new routine! Up early (5:45), get kids ready for school, quiet time and coffee, get ready, leave for counseling appointment at 11, AA at noon, coming home and working out (strength training and hiking), picking the kids up from the bus at the end of our dirt road, homework, dinner in the dining hall (which is becoming less and less this time of year), read aloud and prayer with kids, put them to bed early (7:30), shower, and time with my hubby before an early bed time for me!