January 31, 2017 by Courtney
This past week was really good in a lot of ways; though, there were some hard moments here and there.
Overall, my anxiety has been much better and I feel like I’m leveling out with my bipolar (after coming off of birth control… apparently that was affecting the effectiveness of my Lamictal).
I only had a few moments in which I thought about alcohol… not the constant that was happening there for a little while. I really feel, now, that I can do this! And I want to do this.
We even had stuff going on every night between Tuesday and Friday. Usually this sends me into a tailspin of anxiety and makes me want to drink, but it didn’t this time (for the first time in years).
We had so much fun. We spent time with old friends, people in our community, and our gap year students. Taco Tuesday, chili, Phase 10, pizza and Girl Scout cookies, Wii Mario Cart, and Episode 4 of Star Wars.
I wrote about Saturday in my self care Saturday post.
Sunday we went to church, then we came home and I took a 3 hour nap! It was fantastic and just what I needed. Since I prepped on Friday, I didn’t have much to worry about!
I talked about the hard stuff in the post that I wrote on Sunday.
Yesterday we met with Karis’ new counselor.
We decided it was time for her to see a counselor when she had a breakdown at school. Her teacher called me and we had about a 20 minute conversation about it. She has been struggling with the massive amount of change that has taken place in her life, my illnesses, and now my alcoholism. They have all been through a lot, but I think it has really affected her the most. She struggles to make friends, cries a lot, and shows a lot of anxiety. She also told her teacher that I don’t have time for her… and have since made a point to spend extra time with her (I spent time with her before, but I don’t think it was intentional enough).
The counselor was amazing. He was very professional and thorough. You could tell that he really cared and wanted to take action. He is also a pastor in Junction :-). We talked camp for a little bit. He met with her as well and they created an action plan. He told us that if we want to meet with him every week we can (he actually encourages it).
After meeting with him, Robert and I had a nice, calm day at home! I usually go to AA on Mondays but I didn’t go this week because we had to go to Rocksprings. That’s a lot of driving in a day!
Other things I’m grateful for:
I’m grateful for coffee and God’s word.
I’m grateful for this land that we live on.
I’m grateful for my computer and cell phone. Without them, I wouldn’t have daily contact with some people.
I’m grateful that I’m beginning to see the beauty that my husband sees. It has taken a long time to see it, but I see it. God made me in His image.
I’m also grateful for my shorter hair. So much easier to take care of! I can dry it in 5 minutes!
Life is hard, but it is good. God is good!