Really Doing What is Best for My Girl

This has been a long week for Karis and I (more for her than me).  Starting Tuesday she was acting weird… extra emotional.  Then it got worse Wednesday.  She was also complaining about stomach pain.  She had a few others symptoms that worried me.  Wednesday night was a little party for her and she blew the candles out on the cake and left.  She went home and was in tears about stomach pain.

She was going to help me with this cake but didn’t feel up to it.  Her friend iced it.

I made her smile for a few pictures.

The pain just got worse and worse.  Thursday she was in tears most of the day (bawling sometimes… and it didn’t matter who was there).  I finally decided to call the doc and make an appointment.  She was able to get her in the next morning.  Thursday night I found out she has been having digestive issues for a while but she was embarrassed to tell me.  At that point I was so glad that I made an appointment for her.

I’m so thankful to my cousins because they watched the boys so I could take her in without them.  It turned out to be God’s hand in it because we wouldn’t have been able to be as open with them there.

We were there for an hour.  We talked about Karis’ severe anxiety at school, her crying all the time at school, her withdrawal from other students and struggling to make friends, the fact that she has mentioned suicidal thoughts to me, the being exhausted all day and having a hard time going to sleep at night.  Then we talked about her digestive issues, and my suspicion was correct.  She has the condition that I thought she had.

What I didn’t realize is that her psychological issues are likely the cause of it.

The nurse practitioner was adamant that she see a psychologist to get a diagnosis then have her see a counselor.  She also strongly felt that homeschooling is best for Karis.  She believes that she has severe social anxiety (and some depression).  But we won’t know for sure until we see a psychologist (if we can afford it).  She said that school is a major trigger for her and we need to remove that trigger to heal her body.

After that appointment I asked my counselor if she saw kids and she doesn’t, but she referred me to a person in her office that does (and said he is amazing with kids).  I called him yesterday afternoon and we talked for about 30 minutes.  He is fantastic.  He does art and play therapy and has experience with kids with the same condition that Karis has.  Bonus is that he is an LPC intern (I trust interns because I have had a good experience with one) and he doesn’t charge much at all.  He charges what you can afford.  He said I could pay as low as $10.  I’m paying $25.  That is incredible for good counseling!

We also decided to go ahead and withdraw Karis and start homeschooling her.  Just in time for STAAR testing.  She has been in tears over that stupid test.  She was being tutored for math and her teacher stopped it because she passed the benchmark by 2 points (not enough in my opinion).  And she doesn’t know how to divide!  It blows my mind that their only goal is passing that stupid test.  I hate it.  But I don’t blame the teachers.  It’s not their fault.  It’s the system.  They hate the test as much as I do (I remember from being a teacher).

Another thing that we have to do is to start limiting gluten and dairy again (mainly no breads and straight dairy like milk, ice cream, straight cheese, etc).  She said that she can still have yogurt because the proteins are broken down.  Lots of water.  Lots of fiber (which is hard for her because she is so picky because of textures).  We got a fiber supplement and will be trying to get her to eat more veggies.  She refuses to eat fruits (except bananas and apples, but the doc said those are out).  She has to take a few meds for a while to get her healthy.  She also will be taking a good probiotic, vitamins, and fish oil.

We’re coming at this from all sides.

Karis is so relieved and excited that we are going to be homeschooling.  She feels better emotionally already.  Her whole demeanor has changed.  She slept great last night!!

Robert told me last night that we need to do this as cheaply as possible for now.  I dug through what I still had (stuff that wouldn’t sell) and I have so much already!  I have science (textbook, notebooking journal… I realize it’s a junior one, but we’ll make it work… and lab kit), spelling, writing (between the book pictured and writing packs from Teachers Pay Teachers), tons of novels (and reading response cards from TpT for journaling), lots of informational books (and reading response cards from TpT for journaling), and a quiet time curriculum studying the whole Bible.

My neighbor is loaning me history (everything needed, saving me about $60) and Math U See blocks, fraction over lays, the DVD, and the instruction book (saved me $115!).

All I had to buy was Math U See student books ($40… workbook and tests) and grammar (an $11 workbook… Easy Grammar).  I’m going backwards on math so that she will learn division well.  She has struggled with it from the beginning.  She will feel so confident once we get through some of this.

I will be saving up for a few things for the fall.  Notgrass From Adam to Us (unless we decide to keep doing what we’re doing… this is literature and history… Karis loves it… it is $100), Essentials in Writing (maybe… it’s $87), more spelling (each book is short and cheap), and the next math student books (when we’re finished with this one, $40).



Now, for my self care.  I will be able to continue AA and counseling on Mondays.  Robert is off 2 out of 3 Mondays so he will be with her then.  The other Monday she will either hang out with a friend here or we will go to town together and my mom will hang out with her in town.  She can take some work with her and they can hang out in a coffee shop or something.  I will do some online AA during the week (I have to actually make a point to do this because I didn’t do a good job in the past).

I will make sure to do my Bible study each morning (and have Karis do a quiet time).  We will do a mother/daughter devotional together as well.  I will make sure to continue to eat all meals (breakfast is new to me), reduce caffeine until I no longer drink caffeine (for anxiety and figuring out my hunger/fullness cues), I will continue doing the readings and meetings with my dietitian, and keep a good routine for myself.

This is the devotional that we will be doing:

We’ve had it a few weeks but it has been hard to find time to do it with school.

We both feel at complete peace and can’t wait to get started!

4 thoughts on “Really Doing What is Best for My Girl

  1. I’m not happy to know your little girl was suffering in silence for such a long time. Poor thing, already having issues with anxiety and depression. The pressure to ace tests at school is ridiculous and unnecessary. That’s all they teach you, to pass exams. I’m glad you found out how she was feeling and were able to find help so soon. It’a amazing that you have a plan now. You’re a good mom. Keep taking care of yourself too. You deserve it and Karis needs you. Sending hugs and prayers.

    • Thank you for your sweet comment! I’m just upset with myself for not pulling her out sooner. Her teacher kept talking me out of it. But it is what it is and now we’ll move forward.

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