Compulsive Buying, Cash Budgeting, and 31 Days of “Living Well and Spending Zero” (Yes, Again)

So… I’m not sure if my anxiety last week was medication after all.  I have been anxious about one thing in particular and I made some decisions and have been feeling better.  Only time will tell.

This is a very honest post.  I’m hoping there will be others who can relate and join me in this!

One of the biggest things that causes me anxiety is money.

You see, I’m learning that I am a compulsive spender.  It can be due to my obsessive/compulsive nature, part of my addictive nature, part of my bipolar, or I’m just a plain old spender.  Regardless of what the reason is, I get a rush out of spending.  I have never been able to save, and I spend every cent I have.  I often go negative in my account because I don’t think about the little things that come out of my checking account like Netflix.  So I will have spent every cent, then Netflix will come out and I am negative.  I have been spending every cent on books and curriculum, or online groceries (walmart.com and boxed.com).  Often, I have spent so much money on credit.  When I was homeschooling all of the kids I would constantly buy curriculum on credit, sell it, and buy again.

Poor Robert has been trying to pay off debt, and I remembered last week that our credit card on my account on Math U See’s website.  So, I bought her math for next year on credit, once again.  The interesting thing about that purchase is that I was feeling very anxious.  I had laid down to rest because of it and I remembered that we still had our credit card on our account (this is one that I had paid off with out income tax refund but not closed).  I got a rush and felt no anxiety for a little bit while I purchased it.  I was very excited about it.  Then once that excitement wore off, I felt guilty and anxious again.  If Robert wasn’t the one to pay the bills, I would have hidden it from him.  But since I know he will see the statement I confessed to him what I had done.  He reminded me that paying that off will take a few months, and it has set us behind again.  He wasn’t mad, just confused.  I ended up closing that account and have no more ways to buy on credit.

I also spent all of the money that Robert gives me for groceries and gas on books (good old Amazon, used curriculum groups, Rainbow Resource, and our writing website), and online groceries (not all was needed).  Hundreds of dollars.  Some things that I bought we needed.  We bought groceries at HEB and spent almost $100 (not bad, really).  Gas was necessary.  I bought some t-shirts at our camp store here so that I had some clothes that fit better (I guess this wasn’t completely necessary).  I paid for counseling for Karis and me.  Etc.  But I spent a lot of money on things that either we didn’t need or I could have saved up for.

Now what?

Time and time again I have proven that I cannot be trusted with any kind of card.  Credit or debit.  If I have it in my account, I will spend it online.  If I have any credit line open, I will spend it online.  Do you see a pattern here?  Online shopping does it every time.  This coming week I have 5 packages coming!  And that doesn’t include how many packages that came in last week!

The only way we can solve this is to take away my ability to buy online, which means going to cash only.

We had the opportunity to learn a lot about managing money a few years ago.  Our friends here at camp taught a Dave Ramsey class.  We bought the materials and only went a few times.  In fact, Robert went, not me.  I’m the one that should have gone.  Today I pulled out those materials, and I’m currently listening to the CD’s.

I also dusted off the envelope system.

We don’t have a house to pay off (part of Robert’s income is a free house!), and we don’t care about building wealth, but the rest is applicable.

I also pulled out another book that I’ve had called Living Well Spending Less.  I did some reading in it yesterday and came across a section that talked about doing a zero spend month to kick start things.

So, that’s what I’m going to do.  31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero.  Well, it won’t necessarily be ZERO spending, but only essentials.  I bought the kindle book (I thought it was $0, but turns out that’s only for kindle unlimited, oops).  It’s a day-to-day plan for how to live this out.

What does that look like for me?

I’ve tried this no spend month many times and quickly failed.  Obviously I wasn’t committed, but more importantly, I was too tempted by being able to buy things online.  This is part of my pattern.

What am I allowed to spend money on?  Perishable food (as little as possible), gas, counseling, doctor appointment, and medicine (my medical and counseling is the most expensive part of our month).  Anything else will be saved.  I’m planning to be able to buy the rest of the curriculum that I need by the end plus have money saved up.  To buy this curriculum, I will hand Robert the cash and he’ll make the online purchase.  I think this is going to work nicely.

For once I’m hopeful.  It’s going to take a lot of work, but I think it’ll teach me to be more content.  That’s my goal.  Hopefully with this kick start I will be better with money.  We’ll see!

 

My New Journey

Words aren’t my friend right now so bare with me.

A little over 7 years ago my brother died by a gruesome suicide.  A few months later I had Levi and went through terrible postpartum depression and anxiety.  My life has never been the same.

3 years ago I was suicidal for the first time and ended up inpatient at a mental health facility.  A few months later I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 and generalized anxiety disorder.

The past several years have had many ups and downs.  I have been in outpatient therapy and most recently was in a treatment center for alcoholism.

I have spent so much of my time advocating for myself and others with mental illness.  I got the above tattoo (not quality work, but I still like it) almost 2 years ago to represent that (check out Project Semicolon to learn more about the symbol).

Today, I’m not doing well.

I was worried that homeschooling Karis again was the cause of my anxiety, but Robert and I have pretty much determined that it is in fact my medication.

I am feeling hopeless.  The medication that I cannot afford is what is best for me and no other meds have worked like it.  In fact, the one I’m on not only doesn’t work as well, I really feel that it is the cause of my anxiety.

Yesterday I wrote on Facebook that I was no longer going to share about my mental illness because I’m tired of being “known” for mental illness.  If they wanted to read about it, they could go like my FB page.  Then today I woke up with anxiety again, and I asked for prayers on FB.

A lot of people commented and messaged me.  I felt guilty for doing what I said I wouldn’t do, so I deleted my post.

I’m so tired.  Tired of being the needy one.  Tired of being the one that is always struggling.  Tired of being the one that is a drain to others.  Tired of being the one that is too open.  Tired of being the one that focuses on herself so much.  Tired of being a mess all the time.  Tired of being tired.

I don’t know what the future of sharing looks like.  I want to be an advocate, but I also don’t want people to only think of mental illness when they think of me.  I want them to see the other parts of me, too.  On the days when my mental illness is winning, it’s hard for me to see the other parts of me let alone share those things with the world.  I have noticed myself not sharing as much when I don’t share about my mental illness.  I’m not sure why that is.  I think the biggest thing is that I’ve convinced myself that a part of me is me.

Every time I think I’m going to post now, I have to put a lot of thought into it.  I think I’m on a new journey of learning who I really am (with and without my mental illness).  We’ll see where this leads me.

I will probably always be vulnerable on here because that is what my blog is about.  It’s my outlet.  If anyone wants to, they can come read this instead of me complaining all of the time on Facebook.

Anxiety.  Story of my life.

I have been struggling with this a lot lately.  I will feel great, then something will set the anxiety off and I can barely function.  Getting out the house is hard.  Being around a lot of people makes it worse.  My brain gets foggy, my stomach gets sick, my cheeks get flushed, my heart beats hard and deep; I feel light-headed. I can’t think straight.  I’m irritable.  I’m hyper-focused on one thing, and I obsess about what people think of me.  I obsess about a lot of things, actually.  Money, curriculum, my weight that keeps going up (despite the fact that my dietitian tells me I’m not eating enough), etc.  I am compulsive.  I make quick decisions only to regret it (which causes me more anxiety).  The worst area is my spending.  I really think it’s a bad coping mechanism that I have.

The anxiety seems to be getting worse every day.  Yesterday was Robert’s birthday.  I had all of these grand plans and he ended up tucking me in early last night because I couldn’t function.  I was proud of myself for making him a homemade cake despite my anxiety, but that’s about all I had in me.

This morning I woke up and felt “hungover.”  Don’t worry, I’m still sober (196 days to be exact), but it was from the anxiety.  I ended up going back to bed and slept 4 hours (right through my appointment with my dietitian, whoops).

I’m still anxious.

I called my doc’s office this morning and talked with someone in the office.  She sent over a lengthy message to my doctor about what’s been going on with a reminder that I live over 2 hours from them.  She said they will call me sometime today and let me know what they can do about it (or if I need to go back in).

I *think* it’s because of my med change.  I used to take a medication called Latuda.  I had to stop taking it because it’s $1000 a month, and I was denied for patient assistance.  She switched me to one called Geodon, and I really think that’s what’s causing me anxiety.  It’s so hard to say.  I just know that’s when the bad anxiety started.

Mental illness SUCKS.  And drug companies that charge $1000 a month for meds infuriate me.  It affects my quality of life.  I know it affects others so much as well.

I’m about to leave for choir. It’ll probably help me to get out of the house and be involved in something.  Here’s to hoping!

Self Care and Productive Sunday

 

Yesterday was a pretty low-key day because I was sick.

I budgeted, wrote a grocery list, and wrote out meals that we can cook for this month (with food that we already have)… I will post about that is coming up.

I ordered some groceries on Walmart.com.

I supervised the kids while they cleaned up the house.  They do such a great job.  I helped a bit.

Today my family went to church without me because I just wasn’t feeling well when I woke up.

Since I didn’t go, I worshipped via You Tube, and I listened to a sermon from my church’s website.

I felt a bit better later in the day (which made me wish I had gone), so I did some cleaning up and laundry.  The kids’ did a great job of cleaning the house yesterday, but I decided to clean up their rooms and make their beds for them (they got messy again) because I never do that anymore.  I just wanted to serve them.  I want them to come home and be able to play all afternoon.

I also did their laundry (again, not something I do often anymore).

They cleaned the bathrooms yesterday, and I just touched them up today.

I just love my little house.  It’s perfect for our family.

After cleaning, I prepped some veggies.

I baked a peanut butter cake (without the icing) for breakfasts.


Robert is out working on something with a friend.  I think I’ll go to bed early tonight and get some good rest to start off my week well!

This Week in the Crosland Homeschool + IEW Writing

This week has been a productive one.  Karis now starts school at 9:00, takes a break at noon for lunch, gets back to work at 12:30, and finishes at about 1:30/2:00.  So that’s about 4- 4 1/2 hours of school work per day.  She’s being challenged in new ways, and I’m thankful that she hasn’t complained too much.

Reading

We started this week reading Esperanza Rising and she hated it.  She dreaded reading time (not at all like her).  So, I decided to let her finish the week reading what she wanted and using the reading menu to respond to it.  She has to write 3-5 sentences.  She’s usually pretty good at responding to novels.

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I started reading while she reads.  We sit on the porch and enjoy the beautiful weather.

Science

For science we studied Venus.  We read and took notes; she answered questions, did copywork (cursive), and did a crossword with vocabulary.  We were going to do the project but we needed newspaper and didn’t have any, so we will wait till we go to the store Sunday.

Spelling

She is working through 5th grade spelling menus through the end of this year (we will start Spelling Workout in the fall).  She seems to enjoy this.  It gives her some choice.

Math

We’re moving through this math pretty quickly so far, but it will slow down in a few lessons when long division is introduced.  Like I’ve said before, I started her behind so that she could learn things well that she never really understood. So we’re moving quickly through it and will continue through the summer.  The goal is to get to the next level in the fall (which may or may not happen), and it’s still a “grade level behind.”  But I really want her to understand!  I feel like with working through the summers she will eventually get caught up!

Grammar

She’s working on prepositions still, and will be doing review next week.  We have worked on prepositions for several weeks.  I love Easy Grammar!  LOTS of review and it digs deep!

We also use Khan Academy to teach some concepts. She loves that.  It also really helps her understand on a deeper level.

History

We haven’t done history the past few weeks because I wanted to save it for if we brought the boys home.  But since we decided not to, we will pick it back up next week.

I ordered this Usborne Encyclopedia of World History to go with it!


Writing

Now on to writing… I am so happy with what we are doing.  It has been a game changer for her.  She has always hated writing… she dreaded it.  She struggled with coming up with anything to write.  It brought on tears every time.  Then I found out that she didn’t really do writing at school, which made her further behind.

We started this year trying out some units that I bought on Teachers Pay Teachers but she had tears about it immediately.  Then we tried the writing that my neighbor uses (Writing with Ease), and tears again.  Now, I don’t think she’s going to like everything that we do, but it’s different if she is super anxious and in tears.  And since I can change things, I feel like it’s my job to help her be her best.

A few weeks ago I bought the online streaming course of Teaching with Structure and Style.  It worked the first day I bought it, but it wouldn’t work anytime after.  I’m not sure why.  I chatted with them online and they told me that they could send me the DVD’s for the price of the online streaming course.  That’s a $60 difference!  And the online streaming only lasts a year; the DVD’s are forever.

I received them yesterday!  It was like Christmas!

I have watched a few of the videos and so far it was just review for me (I actually watched all of the DVDs a few years ago when I taught at a private classical school, but I only used it for the first 3 out of 9 units and I forgot most of it).  We are working very closely within the second unit for a while to get a good grasp of the concept.

The way it works (for unit 1-2) is you take a passage (could be fiction or non-fiction) and make a keyword outline using 3 words or less for each sentence.  Numbers and symbols are free.  So far she hasn’t used any numbers or symbols… just words.

She then writes the paragraph(s) from the keyword outline (unit 2 starts the writing).  Next, she revises and edits.  Then she publishes by typing it out.  For now, we do everything together (well, she does the keyword outline by herself and she tells me what to write).  Eventually the goal is to get her to do everything on her own, but the founder of the program says you can’t help too much.  So I’m helping her a ton.  Through this, I’m building her confidence to be able to be successful at it on her own.

For the first time ever, she says that she likes writing.  We have tried almost everything out there!  Writeshop, Writing with Ease, units on Teachers Pay Teachers, Classical Academic Press, and Essentials in Writing.

Pretty much everything else was too open-ended for her.  She needed something to tell her what to write (to start out).

Now through the summer we will be doing units 2-4.

Then starting in September we will be using Ancient History-Based Writing Lessons.  There are some units that don’t have much practice in this book so I will add various source texts to expand.

Over time, the goal is to get her to be able to write original works.  Next fall she will write from a story, a one source research paragraph, writing from pictures, multi-source research paper, creative (inventive) writing, essay, and finally literary analysis.  It’s a long process.

Another part of this program is that the students use “stylistic techniques.”  The first ones that we are using are called “dress-ups.”  Right now the dress ups that we’re using are an -ly adverb and a because clause.  They are starting to get easy for her, so we will move on to another one soon.

Other techniques include using figurative language, sensory words, creative sentence openers, etc.

He teaches that everything is about process and not product.  The dress-ups are to learn and practice a technical skill to become a better writer.  For a long time, she will have to include all dress ups in every paragraph.  Once I feel that she has them down, she can start using them as she wishes.

He also says that the writing will be awkward at first, and that’s normal until they get the skills down.

I feel like I’ve finally figured out all of the curriculum that I want to do and feel confident in my decisions.  She’s thriving for the first time ever, really (it’s at least been several years).  The last time I homeschooled her I was still trying to figure out curriculum.  Now I’m just investing in what we’re using!

Reading Comprehension and Digging Deeper

I’ve mentioned before that Karis is on an 8th grade reading level (at least she was when she left school in March).

She loves reading and that’s fantastic, but I want her to think critically and dig deep into the books.  I also want to expand her vocabulary.

I have so many ways for her to do that!

Teachers Pay Teachers has so many fantastic novel studies.  I love The Book Umbrella the most!

Starting next week she will be doing a novel study on Ella Enchanted (we have this book from the library).


In addition to novel studies, I will have her use different forms of reading response questions to answer in her reading response journal.  These will be on books of her choice.  She has to answer them in a paragraph with text evidence (4-6 sentences).

I will also have her read some non-fiction/informational books and respond to those.

We will learn about figurative language.

We will use reading menus with prompts and a rubric to grade.

And lastly I will teach skills and strategies and have her respond to them using a sentence starter (also in a paragraph).  These are a few examples:

I will use this rubric to grade all reading response:

The books that I will be having her study are on my homeschooling page above.     In addition to the books that I will have her study, I will give her plenty of time to read for enjoyment.  We will study one novel a month along with one novel to go with our history, and the rest will be books of her own choosing.

My Rollercoaster of Anxiety these Past Few Weeks

Gosh.  The last few days have been ROUGH.  There were several things up in the air.  And I decided to re-address the idea of bringing the boys home next year.

I realized something yesterday.  Two weeks ago I was extremely anxious to the point of being on the verge of a panic attack for days.  I thought it was because I needed to be back on birth control (because it really does help with anxiety and mood… from past experience).  So I made an appointment with my doc to get back on.  A few days later, I felt better (I haven’t started it… the only thing is that maybe the pros/cons list about homeschooling the boys helped).

Fast forward to Tuesday of this week.  I found out that there was a small possibility of us moving to a different house here at camp, but it was up in the air.  Then I decided to think that maybe I CAN homeschool the boys next year and maybe I need to do a trial run over the summer and see how we handle it.

Yesterday was extremely rough for me.  I was processing it and still trying to make a final decision.  I was back to being extremely anxious and on the verge of a panic attack.  I couldn’t think straight, my brain was foggy, upset stomach, racing heart; I couldn’t think of anything else.  I told Robert last night that I needed to take a Xanax (which I’m not allowed to take anymore because it’s addictive, and I’m an addict).

Through my severe anxiety I realized something.  The last time I had this anxiety (2 weeks ago), I was also trying to decide whether or not I should homeschool the boys.  Then the same thing happened yesterday.  That right there gave me my final answer.  I’m just not ready.  As soon as I made my decision to keep them in school, my anxiety lifted.

Then I told the boys that they will be in school next year.  I thought I would get tears, anger, frustration, “whys,” but they just said okay and moved on!

Robert and I talked about how because I didn’t take Xanax, I was able to process why I was having such extreme anxiety.  If I were to take it, I would just be numb, and I wouldn’t have processed it.

Robert was happy that I came to this conclusion.  One of the big things that he wants is consistency for the boys and for me.  We have never had it… not one year has had consistency.  It’s been rough for everyone involved.  Next year will be one of routine and normalcy.  The boys will go to school, we will stay in our wonderful little home, Karis will be homeschooled, my focus will be on teaching her (she’s really independent so this doesn’t take much at all) and self care.  I will continue working on being sober (and AA), loving my self as is (continuing to focus on intuitive eating), having routine in my day, my blog, loving my family, keeping a clean home for my family (along with the kids’ help), counseling 2-4 times a month (including some EMDR mixed in), Bible study, prayer, being a good friend, serving here at camp, and more.  Just continuing what I’m doing now (and maybe being a little better at things as I start to feel better).  What I’m doing now is a full time job.  Any more is too much at this point!

Today has been fabulous.  I have zero anxiety.  I am joyful and full of energy!  I have motivation and a desire to do things around the house again.  I even dried my hair and put on makeup today.  I hardly ever wear makeup anymore.  It feels good :-).

I read while Karis read (on the porch).  This is my new routine.  I have a book a month that I want to read.

I learned so much!  I’m very encouraged.

 

“In recent years, myriad research projects have demonstrated unequivocally that diets do not work. Of those people who go on diets, ninety-five to ninety-eight percent regain their weight, plus some. Diets make us fatter. Diets turn us into compulsive eaters. Diets make us sick!
Why do we keep engaging in an activity that both harms us and fails us time and again? Why do we continue to cling to the promise of diets despite documentation that the more we restrict food, the more desperate we become, and the more we eat? Why on earth haven’t women put the diet industry out of business?”

Then a woman in a group that I’m in wrote this:

“It’s amazing to me that women (and men) continue to restrict their caloric intake to such extreme levels.

The diet industry thrives on failure and it’s perfectly set up for it. You restrict calories and your body goes into starvation, holding onto every calorie you eat. Then when you stop dieting your body is primed with a slow metabolism since it doesn’t know when/if you’ll starve it again. So you gain the weight back (and then some) and eventually begin yet another diet.

It’s such a brutal cycle. How awesome would the world be if we gave up diets, had things we enjoy in moderation, and made healthy lifestyle choices without restricting ourselves?”

I’m just feeling at such peace today and feel like I can move forward with life and be me!  I’m doing what I love!

Mom’s Master Binder + Happy Planner

My household notebook has been kind of disorganized since I started homeschooling again and since I’ve been using my Happy Planner.  I have decided to make both of them work well for me.

I found a free “Mom’s Master Binder” pack and used it to make my household notebook work for homeschooling as well as just regular household stuff that I created.  I also bought a cheap grade book pack on Teachers Pay Teachers.  I use a google doc table that I made for lesson plans.  I don’t keep them in my binder.  I print one off for Karis to use, and I share the document with her so she can click on links (mostly for Khan Academy lessons).

I didn’t make this and I can’t find a link.  I have it saved and I just print as needed.  I’m sure it would be really easy to make on your own.

Weekly Routine

Master Grocery List

This is just the print out of my Google Calendar.

Homeschool Grade Book

This is the program that I’m doing with my dietitian.

These folders have various things in them from coupons to letters to counseling things.

I use my Happy Planner for “to-dos,” self care, and meals for the day. I’ll also use it to plan meals for the week.

Let me know if you want any of this!  I have some templates that I made as well as the ones I found online.  I would be glad to share!

Learning to Cope with Anxiety Now That I’m Not Drinking

I realized Saturday night just how much my mental illness affects me these days.  The past few weeks I was in town multiple days (town is far, far away).  Between the driving (2 1/2 hours round trip), the waiting, the meetings, the counseling, the doctor appointments, etc, I was just worn.  I don’t handle being away from home well.

This weekend we planned on going to my parents’, staying the night, then going to church for Easter yesterday.  Saturday evening I was sitting at my parents’ just feeling very restless and anxious.  I just needed to be home.

We left at about 8:00 to head home.  We got home at about 10:30.  Sounds crazy to leave that late, but I just couldn’t handle being away from home anymore.

Saturday night I was just lying in bed mad at myself for not being able to handle things well.

In the past (for about 7 years), I would drink to handle anxiety.  I would drink at my parents’ house (a lot), most evenings (because that’s when I was most anxious), before going to camp events (and I know I made a fool of myself on multiple occasions), and when we traveled.  I would drink every time we had people over (before they came I would binge).  It was just how I handled anxiety; mostly social anxiety, but generalized as well.  And being the alcoholic that I am, I would just drink “because” a lot.  It prevented anxiety.

I remember talking to my previous psychiatrist (well, PA) about my drinking and he would just tell me that it’s common for people who have anxiety to drink to quiet it.  Not once did he tell me that it’s a problem (well once he just told me to not drink and take Xanax at the same time).  Because of this I was in denial that I had a problem, but that’s for another post.

Now that I’m not drinking, I have to feel my emotions.  I also have to have different ways of coping, and my biggest way is to just stay home as much as I can.  I keep a clean/organized house because mess and clutter makes me have anxiety.  I have to leave the boys in school even though I want to homeschool them, and they want to homeschool.  I have to have a quiet morning of Bible study and coffee to start my day out well.  I listen to a lot of worship music.  I have to end my day listening to “Serenity relaxing spa music” because it quiets my anxiety.  I drink a lot of caffeine free Coke Zero to replace the alcohol that I often had in my hand.  I have reduced my caffeine a LOT.  Mostly just drink half caff coffee in the morning and a Coke Zero with lime when I’m in town.  That’s about all the caffeine that I drink now.  It has helped.  I take a lot of medication.  It helps a lot, but it doesn’t take it away.  I see my counselor 3-4 times a month.  Sometimes I hike or walk to prevent evening anxiety.  And believe it or not, homeschooling Karis has helped a ton.  It gives me purpose for my days, but with just her it’s not anxiety inducing.  She’s easy.

I am trying to get disability and I have been denied 3 times already.  My lawyer is trying to get me a hearing date but she said it takes 12-18 months.  So I’m just waiting right now.

My desire is to be stable enough in a few years to be able to homeschool the boys again the year after next.  I don’t know if that’s going to happen.  I will for sure homeschool them when they are in junior high because they will be independent by then.

I just want to be able to do what my heart desires, but with mental illness it’s important to be realistic.  Since I’m not super stable right now, I would possibly relapse.

My goal right now is just focusing on coping and self care without drinking.  It’s a big goal!  With God’s help I can do it.  It’s just going to take lots of work!

Easter Weekend!

Friday was a fun day home with my kiddos.  It started out rough with a major fight over the Wii, but once I grounded them from electronics it got better.  We colored and decorated eggs and did some crafts.  The kids also played outside all afternoon with their friends.

Robert was supposed to be home but he ended up having to work.  Oh well.

Yesterday was a great day at my parents’ for Easter.  The kids had 135 eggs to hunt and they found all but a few (whoops).  We had a fantastic lunch of ham, beans, and homemade potato salad.

We ended up deciding to come home yesterday instead of today.  I got their Easter baskets set up last night.  We kept it cheap and simple this year.  A few cookies that a friend of mine made, glow sticks, Reese’s bunny, bubble gum eggs, and a fun cup that matched their personality.  They were happy with what they got :-).

This morning we watched part of the worship service on Watermark’s website, and we praised through YouTube videos.  We didn’t go to church for various reasons, but mostly because my anxiety can’t handle it right now.

We had a great lunch of grilled pork chops, mashed potatoes, salad, and the kids’ favorite Hawaiian rolls.

We read The Flowering Cross and made our cross cake.  This is our yearly tradition.  They’re getting a little big for it, but I will keep doing it as long as they let me.  They didn’t want to do Resurrection Eggs :-(.

We also cleaned the house and got ready for the week.  In a few hours we are celebrating with our camp family!  Lots of celebration!