When I started feeling better with-in a day of telling the boys that they would be going back to school I thought that was IT! I wouldn’t struggle with hyperventilation syndrome (HVS) again. To my disappointment, Friday night, I started … Continue reading
I thought I would give a little bit of an update on things.
I am night and day better from where I was this time last week.
I have settled into the idea that I will only be homeschooling Karis, and I’ve learned to be good with that. She does better at home, she is mostly independent, and she is fun to work with. There is no stress or anxiety involved in it. I’m looking forward to digging into things with her. And we have a good relationship and she’s now a pre-teener so this is good for us. I plan to really dive into stuff with her and learn along side her. And on the days that I don’t feel up to it, she is capable of doing everything on her own!
I hope to do Poetry Teatime every Friday with the girls at the camp. It will be so fun.
The boys are so excited about going back to school, and honestly they do really well in school. I’ve talked with their teachers from this past year (one emailed me and one I emailed first), and they are so happy that they will be back. They were so encouraging and positive. The boys will learn and grow at school. We will have a regular routine/schedule every day which will be good for my anxiety and good for my Ethan’s anxiety as well. He needs that routine.
I plan to still do some nature studies with all of the kids. We will try to take a few “field trips” but not as many as when I would have had them home.
And I am happy to be able to focus on getting healthier mentally and physically. As you know, I have mental illness, and I also went to rehab last fall for alcoholism (which is a mental illness as well). I need to be able to focus on keeping myself healthy and sober. In addition, I’m trying to get back to health physically (using the Balance 365 program) because I haven’t been doing too well there, either. So I guess this is just a season of health for me. Maybe once I’m healthier, I can bring my boys back home (if that’s God’s plan). It’ll probably be a while if that does happen. In the meantime I’m happy about playing with the kids until the boys’ school starts on August 23rd. We were going to start school next week. And I’m looking forward to doing some back-to-school shopping and all of that.
Family camp this week has been pretty great so far. We have 2 more full days, then we leave on Saturday. I haven’t felt good the whole time, though, because of my cough and constant nausea. I’m also really tired all the time. So I’ve just been resting as much as I can. We have done 1-2 activities per day and played in the game room a lot. We have had great meals, fun themed nights, and I’ve enjoyed time with friends. We have been gone from home for a full week already, which is hard for me because I’m a homebody and an introvert. I’m making it, though, and am trying to just enjoy the time that I have with my family all together! It is a blessing to have this opportunity.
Here are some pictures of our week so far:
I actually did the Cross Bows!
The kids love the foam pit, but not as much as last year.
Family devotionals and outdoor worship
RC Cars were fun!
Patriotic night ended up being indoors.
Drift Ball ended in some minor injuries.
Tonight is Luau night.
The next two days are packed full of fun activities. Paint war, lake front, date night, hiking, more RC cars, kickball game, dessert, and a dance.
Bare with me… I’m foggy-headed because my doctor increased one of my meds and it’s too much. I was taking 800mg at night before bed and she changed it to 400mg, 3 times per day. I just can’t keep doing this. Also, I still have a cough AND my breathing still isn’t 100% (but still much better than it was). I’m just not feeling great.
Robert, Karis, Ethan, and my father-in-law went for a drive in the Jeep around the mountain here in New Mexico where we’re staying. I just woke up from another nap, but I feel the need to get things out of my head, so here I am.
I woke up this morning (after 12 hours of broken sleep and lots of dreams) feeling really sad that my anxiety/mental illness doesn’t allow me to homeschool all of my kids. I hate my brain and hate that I don’t get to live out my dream because of it. I’m also sad that the boys are really excited about staying in school. It’s totally selfish, but yeah. I guess I’m going to have to grieve this. I’m totally hoping that I will be able to homeschool them next year, but I just don’t know. Every single time I’ve tried to homeschool them I have had terrible anxiety or depression. I want to be content with just homeschooling Karis (just homeschooling her brings joy but not anxiety). She needs to be homeschooled. And I have just enough mental ability to do that. But I just want to be a “homeschooling family.” Maybe that’s just not God’s plan. I don’t understand why I would have such a strong desire for something that I can’t do. I guess it’s just *my* dream but not reality for our family.
The more and more I think about it, I’m realizing that maybe I am just in love with the idea of homeschooling all of the kids and the philosophies that I have adopted or that I want to adopt. And I feel like I’m a better mom if I homeschool all of my kids and live out those philosophies. This makes me take a deep breath and a huge step back.
What does that mean for me and all the other moms out there that can’t live out the “ideal?”
We all just do the best we can. Each child has a different need. Each mom has a different need. Each family has a different circumstance.
Things may not look the way I want them to, but they will be the way they need to be for the health of our family.
I’m a list maker, so here are some of the benefits of having the boys in school:
- Routine/schedule (which is actually really good for my anxiety)
- The ability to teach just Karis (and she is super independent so she will be easy)
- Very little pressure on me to be their sole educator
- The ability to go to counseling and AA more often
- Being able to focus on my self care
- The boys will be with other kids, and they are both extroverts
- They loved school this past year
- Class parties, field trips, field day
- Being involved in the community again
- Saving money (not spending a fortune on curriculum, homeschooling supplies, books, etc and being able to sell a bit)
The boys are happy that they don’t start school till August 23rd so they have a lot of summer left. With homeschooling, we were starting a full load when we got back from Glorieta! I see several more weeks of relaxation ahead!
I’ll write my plans for enrichment for the boys and for Karis soon!
Wow. This week has been hard and crazy and good all at once.
It started out really rough.
I went to counseling on Monday, thanks to my neighbor watching my kids. The meeting with her went really well, but my breathing/anxiety was really bad. The way home it got worse and worse and when I got home I couldn’t breathe at all and just had a really bad panic attack. And Robert worked late. And Levi screamed at me (this doesn’t happen… he was just really mad about something). Kids kept coming in and out even though I told them not to (my kids kept inviting them back in, haha). When Robert got home I just cried and cried. It got a little bit better after that, but I was still struggling.
Tuesday I woke up still feeling really bad. I called my doc’s office and they told me to come in that very day. So, Karis and I made the long trek to San Antonio (2 hours one way) while Robert had the boys with him at work.
My doctor didn’t really know what to do. She had never heard of Hyperventilation Syndrome and when she did some research she said she didn’t want to officially diagnose it without further testing. But she told me that since I was about to go out of town we could try a few med adjustments and see if it helps.
On the way there I came to some big conclusions. I realized that I had a feeling what was causing this. It all started about the time that I told the boys that I would be homeschooling them. And I have been obsessing about it because I’ve been trying to find a way to do it without taking much time each day, but still covering everything we needed to cover. So yet again I was obsessing about curriculum and methods. And I literally just COULD NOT turn it off. No matter how hard I tried. Homeschooling was all I thought about and all I talked about. With family, friends, and even my counselor. And of course here on the blog. And on Facebook. I was constantly reading books, watching YouTube videos, reading blogs, following people on Instagram… the list goes on and on.
I called Robert while in San Antonio, and talked to him about it. He was in agreement immediately. And the more I talked to him the more I realized how relieved he was that I came to that conclusion. He wanted to keep them in school all along. So, we decided to keep the boys in school. Maybe just this year, maybe longer. We’ll just take it a year at a time. Now. I will keep Karis home. She needs to be home. She has bad social anxiety and was crying every day at school. She ended up with a physical condition from it. She’s doing well at home, she’s mostly independent, and she is thriving. I also don’t want to put her in junior high in Rocksprings. It’s kind of rough.
Unfortunately the breathing issue didn’t resolve right away. It got somewhat better, but not 100%. And yesterday it was actually pretty rough. Until. I told Robert that I really felt like we needed to tell the boys for me to get better (he wanted to wait). The anticipation was killing me. I’m not good at keeping secrets, so that was killing me. I needed to get it out. So yesterday while we were driving to New Mexico (we’re here visiting my in-laws, then for Family Camp starting Sunday), I told the boys. Levi was excited immediately. He had actually brought his class picture with him on vacation :-). He misses his friends. Ethan, on the other hand, was pretty upset at first (I expected that). He is nervous about testing (state testing starts in third grade). And honestly I’m nervous about that for him, too, because he struggles with reading and math. But the more he thought about it and talked about it, the more excited he got. Then I told him that it may just be this year, but we’ll see. He told me that he wants to go to fourth and fifth grade there. The testing gets more and more difficult in fourth and fifth grades so I’m not sure that I want that for him. We’ll just see how he does. I really don’t think that I will put them in junior high, but I don’t want to plan that far out because things NEVER go as planned anyway.
Almost immediately after telling the boys (with-in a couple of hours), my anxiety got better and my breathing got better. I guess I just needed that closure. The only thing lingering is a dry cough. But as annoying as that is, I’ll take that over the anxiety breathing issue.
If this cough gets under control I will truly have a week and a half that I can just enjoy with my family here at Glorieta. I am taking cough medicine and it helps some, but it’s still not great.
I’m sooooo thankful that God made the issue so clear on that drive to my doc. I just wish I had figured it out sooner. Well. I think I knew, but I was stuffing it down, trying to ignore it. I wanted to homeschool the boys. And honestly I’m kind of sad, but since I feel better, it’s totally worth it! That was miserable!
This is a picture of Levi holding his class picture from this past year. He was missing his friends so much that he wanted to “bring them along.” He was so proud :-).
I’m happy for the kids… happy that the boys get to stay at school, happy that Karis will get to stay home and by herself. And I’m happy for me that I will get to focus on self care. I just don’t have it in me to homeschool all of the kids right now. Who knows if I ever will. But in the meantime I need to get more stable mentally. So that’s my goal!
Oh. And I’m also happy that I will get to go to town once a week and bring Karis along (when Robert is working). AA and counseling will happen more often now :-). Which is part of my self care.
“Hyperventilation syndrome (HVS); also chronic hyperventilation syndrome (CHVS) and dysfunctional breathing hyperventilation syndrome is a respiratory disorder, psychologically or physiologically based, involving breathing too deeply or too rapidly (hyperventilation). HVS may present with chest pain and a tingling sensation in the fingertips and around the mouth (paresthesia) and may accompany a panic attack.
People with HVS may feel that they cannot get enough air. In reality, they have about the same oxygenation in the arterial blood (normal values are about 98% for hemoglobin saturation) and too little carbon dioxide(hypocapnia) in their blood and other tissues.”
I’ve had this twice before, lasting 3 months and 1 month. This time it has lasted about 1 month so far (though it has been more off and on this time).
I’m thankful for my hubby. I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out WHY I’m anxious. I’ve been thinking that there has to be a reason, and it must be my fault. I must have done something to cause it. But he reminded me that I have generalized anxiety disorder and it’s a chemical imbalance. I will have anxiety just because. I don’t have to have a reason, and it’s definitely not my fault. I can do things to help, and I am being proactive. Tomorrow I’ll be getting blood work done, going to AA, and going to counseling. I’ll see my doctor in about a month. I’ll be taking some supplements as soon as I receive them from Amazon. Last night I meditated twice and that helped. I use these apps:
I’m also happy that I have continued to be present with my family despite this, and we have done lots of fun things! Poetry Teatime, I cooked a big dinner last night, we made Oobleck and homemade playdough yesterday, Levi and I played several games the other day, the kids have been crafting like crazy in our new craft/reading room, and last night we did independent reading as a family and Robert read aloud to the kids. All of this helps a ton because I’m not as focused on the anxiety (it’s still there while I’m doing all of this, but I’m not thinking about it as much).
I feel like this hyperventilation syndrome will last forever but Sue in my Parenting with Anxiety group reminded me a while back that it won’t. It just feels like it.
Like my counselor says, “feelings aren’t facts.” And what I say to myself matters!
Now on to supplements…
I have these supplements: Melatonin (I take these every night), B12, Cod liver oil, Garden of Life Vitamin Code, and Garden of Life Probiotics.
I ordered Vitamin D3.
I ordered Calm Magnesium but then found out that it isn’t absorbed well into the system and it tastes gross (it’s a powder that you mix with water), so I’ll be sending it back. My best friend ordered me some magnesium glycinate, which is the highest absorbed into the system, and it’s a tablet! I’m so thankful for her (I had found out about the Calm after it was too late to cancel and I am out of money for supplements… this is my birthday present from her!).
I did order Rescue Remedy candies (along with the Calm). These are alcohol free.
I will order a Super B complex when I run out of my B12 and Vitamin Code. I will probably also order some epsom salt because I’ve read and heard that it’s good for anxiety (it is magnesium!).
I listen to my Serenity Spa Music often during the day and especially at night, then switch to ocean sounds (white noise app) to sleep (I have done this for a long time).
Robert and I have decided that we will work on becoming caffeine free again. My counselor told me to do this a while back. We were almost there, then I started increasing my caffeine more and more and now I drink a lot of caffeine again.
Along those same lines, I’m going to switch from Coke Zero to only sparkling water (over time).
I also need to get back to being outside more. I can’t do major hikes because when I get out of breath it makes things harder for me, but walks are good.
I also pray a lot, but I struggle with this because I am kind of frustrated that God would allow me to suffer with anxiety so badly. I feel like my prayers are going unanswered.
Last night right before our reading time, it rained (for the first time in a long time), and I saw this beautiful rainbow out of my back windows/door.
It was a great reminder that God is with me. Even in the moments when I don’t understand why He allows things to happen, I can trust that He will use it for His glory.
The last 2 times this happened I took a LOT of Xanax. My previous doctor gave me 120 tablets at once and told me to take it every 4 hours! And he knew that I drank a lot because I told him and he did urine tests! Drinking and Xanax aren’t options anymore so I’m praying that the natural remedies and things will work!
This has been an extremely busy weekend so far!!
The kids did most of the cleaning on Friday. I just did some touch up. I am so thankful that they can do that because I had so much cooking and food prep to do.
We had HAF (“home away from”) Homes Friday night with some summer staff. We had homemade carnitas, pinto beans, Spanish rice, homemade guacamole, banana pudding, and coconut oatmeal cookies. And sweet tea and hibiscus mint tea. So I was in the kitchen allllll afternoon and evening. It was so fun though!
The kids helped in the kitchen (well, Karis and Ethan).
The carnitas look pretty in the Instant Pot (one of these days I’ll get around to sharing the recipe!). We also had my favorite corn and wheat tortillas and Spanish rice made from a package (everything else was homemade… just not the rice). Robert makes the best homemade guacamole.
The summer staff and my kids played Mario Cart for a long time after dinner!
One thing that made me happy was when one of the summer staff told me that my home is very warm and peaceful. I have been told that before and that is always my goal! I want people to feel comfortable here.
That night I had a LOT of anxiety. I’m not even sure why, I just know that I had a hard time breathing. I have been much better since, though!
Yesterday I made some peanut butter pies, then got things ready to have people over again. We had a meet and greet last night for a prospective maintenance tech and his wife. It went so well! We all loved them!
Then I did a ton of prep work for the week!
I cut veggies for the week and took the grapes off the vine.
I made whole wheat pumpkin banana muffins (for the week) and pumpkin banana bread (for the meet and greet, and no one touched it…).
I had a piece of the bread and it was soooooo amazing. I know it’s a little early for pumpkin, but I get ready for fall super early since it’s my favorite season!
My neighbor gave me a sweet gift and card yesterday.
The candle is fall scented. It smells amazing! And I love the lotion and I needed some chapstick. The little booklet that she gave me has ways to handle issues with kids including the scripture to go with it. So cool! This gift meant SO much to me. I often feel like I’m annoying to others because of my anxiety so receiving a gift just encouraged me so much.
Today is going to be a nice, relaxing Self Care Sunday.
I’m writing this blog post and another one coming up. I’m planning to read. Maybe take a nap. I will do a little bit more prep including baking some bread (which I love doing), but not much else! I might also do one load of laundry.
This coming week is going to be pretty laid back. Tomorrow I am having some more summer staff over for dessert and coffee (my “Fruit Group,” which is some ladies).
The kids will continue to do their reading and math every day. I will keep up with the house by doing a load of laundry a day, having the kids do their chores, and tidying each day. We will do one hike/nature walk this week, probably in the evening with Robert again. It was so nice last week.
We leave on the 19th to visit my inlaws, then go to Family Camp at Glorieta in New Mexico (which is our yearly vacation)! I am beyond excited. I am not even that anxious about it this year because I’m not drinking anymore and I know what to expect! It’s a very fun and relaxing week! There will be arrow tag, hiking, mountain biking, nerf room, blacklight dodge ball, foam pit, ice cream, coffee shop, good food, putt putt golf, mountain scooters, drift trikes, 50’s night, western night, dances, a date night, white water rafting (if we can afford it, it’s an additional fee), waterfront, inflatables, naps, games, and most importantly worship! We will also have a counselor assigned to us! And a lot of our friends here at Camp Eagle are going too so we will get to have fun together!
OH! And today is 9 months sober!!!! This is HUGE! It feels like yesterday that I went into La Ha, but it’ll be a year before I know it. I am so much healthier than I was. I have grown so much over the past 9 months!
What are your plans this week?
Any plans for a vacation soon?
I have been on a journey for a looonnnggg time trying to figure out who I am, what I want, what I like, what I enjoy, what I don’t like, and who it is that God has created me to be.
I have hidden behind my mental illness for a long time thinking that I would never be consistent with anything or thinking I would never get to do what I want because of it. My counselor has made it clear that I CAN overcome, do what I enjoy, and have reduced mental illness symptoms. I am not doomed. My mental illness doesn’t have to define me. My doctor is also happy for me that I am doing something I love. She wants me to have reduced symptoms as well so that I can do it well.
I also used to hide behind the “natural living life” (which I wrote about in my post about being obsessive) and have found that I don’t really fit in that lifestyle anymore. I’m okay with that.
I have a history of extremes with diet and exercise. Then when something doesn’t work (because dieting doesn’t work), I go the other extreme. And I just stop exercising all together.
I am totally LOVING the Balance 365 program. It teaches balance, health, joyful movement, self love, and all that goes with those things!
I also realized yesterday that I actually like a few things from the THM diet days (but not the diet itself). I like a few of the drinks, the Oikos Triple Zero yogurt (obviously not a THM food but I found out about it through them), reduced sugar (It’s not necessary to go completely sugar free but my eventual goal is to not have much sugar in my coffee because I drink so much every day… it’s on my list of habits to work on one day), and I love a few of the recipes from the recipe book (Robert and I were talking about that the other day and I added a few of the recipes to my meal plan).
I’m realizing that it is okay to pick and choose the things that I like with food and movement!
It’s okay that I’m not a huge fan of lifting weights/doing strength training. I am good with just taking walks/hiking. That’s “joyful movement.” I may add in some HHHM workouts eventually, but I don’t have to. Just if I want to.
Then there’s this homeschooling thing…
I have been trying to find my way with that as well. I’m a former teacher, so I have that knowledge and experience. I have worked in a university model private school (that was very traditional with curriculum), charter, public, and classical private. Also, the classical private school had some Charlotte Mason undertones.
Since I started homeschooling a few years ago, I’ve kind of tried a little bit of everything. Initially I tried classical. The curriculum I bought fell flat pretty quickly for us. It was boring to us.
I’ve also tried traditional, and I’ve tried teaching the way I taught in the public/charter schools. That didn’t work well for us either. I realized pretty quickly that the way I learned to teach was to help kids take a state test. Also, the kids just didn’t mesh well with that curriculum, either. What I didn’t buy, I had to come up with on my own, and that didn’t work well either.
Then recently I fell back into Charlotte Mason. I have been reading some books about Charlotte Mason (including one that she wrote), and I follow a lot of her philosophy. We use living books, we do picture study, nature studies, poetry (when we do “Poetry Teatime” and in the Good and Beautiful curriculum), narration, and copywork/dictation. But, I start grammar way early for Charlotte Mason, we do some format writing composition, I use some text books (Apologia) and work books (The Good and the Beautiful), we use some encyclopedias, and I let my kids read “twaddle” (anything to get them reading in my opinion).
So where does that leave me?
With a little bit of everything. I don’t fit in one area of philosophy completely.
I know some that are completely classical homeschoolers. My neighbor is that way. Her homeschool runs so smoothly and she uses The Well Trained Mind completely to plan and buy curriculum. Sometimes I’m jealous of the fact that she knows herself so well and knows what works for her kids and for their family in general. But. I am confident that I am figuring out what works for us as well. I just haven’t had much time consistently homeschooling up till now.
I know a few unschoolers.
I know some friends that create unit studies and write all their own curriculum.
Some people do allllll Charlotte Mason (only doing what her books say). I call these CM Purists.
I have several friends that do Classical Conversations.
Then I know a lot of people that do a little bit of several different things. That’s me: Charlotte Mason, traditional, classical, and a little bit of unschooling (LITTLE BIT… just allowing the kids sometimes choose what we study for science when they want a break from Apologia). And I’m learning to be content with all of this.
A little more about me…
I like to be organized. I like a clean house. I like to keep up with laundry so that it doesn’t all pile up, so I do a load most days. I think it’s important for the kids to contribute to the family by doing chores, and I also think it’s important to pay them a little bit for it (which means if they want anything, they have to buy it themselves). I think routine is necessary. I love all things pumpkin and I LOVE Christmas. I am not great with money. I try again every time Robert gets paid, and I fail. But I’ll keep trying. Luckily he pays the bills and saves now… I just buy the groceries and other things that we need. One of these days I won’t run out of money before he gets paid again :-). I have a list of rules on the wall in our school room for the kids to follow and I have a reward system when they do follow them. I really like Coke Zero (or HEB brand Diet Coke, they taste the same!) and good coffee (again, with lots of half and half and sugar). And sometimes tea (hot and iced). I don’t drink enough water. Sometimes I over-do things and then pay for it with anxiety or exhaustion. I like to have people over, but I can’t handle it too much. I don’t like eating in the dining hall even though it’s free for us because the amount of people overwhelms me (especially during the summer). So I buy food. I love candles (seasonal). Sometimes I take life too seriously, and I often forget how to have fun. I like to bake (sometimes). I’m passionate. I believe that self care is of utmost importance. I love others without judgment, probably even more when they don’t fit into society’s “norms.” I love to be an advocate for those who are struggling with mental illness.
And now I’m living a sober life, too. I used to drink a lot, and all the time… now I don’t drink at all and I go to AA :-). My whole life changed when I went to a treatment center for alcoholism, and I’m passionate about sharing about that.
I also love Jesus and don’t show it enough. I have been in a valley spiritually for a long time, and I’m slowly working my way out of that valley with His help. Being mentally sick and an alcoholic, I have been highly distracted for a long time. And Jesus understands. He just misses me. And I miss Him. So that’s why I’m working on this.
Life is hard. Life is good. Life is hard AND good.
Yesterday I met my mom in Kerrville for her to pick the kids up and take them to her house. They are there till Monday. I spent a lot of the day today being lazy.
At about 3:45 I had had enough of that so I got up and got busy! I cut up veggies and baked some muffins. Robert came home about the time that I was going to cut a cantaloupe and honey dew. He ended up cutting it for me, then he pan-seared some salmon and chicken breast for me to have over salads this coming week. I bagged mixed nuts for snacks, made pumpkin steel cut oats in the instant pot, tore lettuce and put it in a big container to have salads, made homemade dressings (creamy buffalo and balsamic vinaigrette), and made quinoa.
I also have peeled boiled eggs (I buy them boiled and peeled from Walmart!) and Greek yogurt to grab for snacks or to go with meals!
I feel like I am set up for success! It feels so good.
All of this work only took a few hours! It helps that Robert pitched in!
On a similar note…
I started the Healthy Habits Happy Moms Balance 365 program several weeks ago. The idea is to pick one healthy habit at a time to focus on, and once you are consistent with it for a time, then you add another one. It’s slllloooowwww and hard sometimes. I have honestly struggled with even figuring out what to start with because I feel like I’m not at all where I want to be with my health. I am learning to love my body the way it is, but I know that I have a ways to go in the health department. But dieting isn’t the answer. It’s not healthy, it isn’t sustainable, and it actually leads to bingeing and weight gain. So I want to be okay with the slowness of this program.
Robert and I were talking earlier and I realized that he’s right… I need to focus 100% on being active again. So many reasons. I have high cholesterol and the meds that I was on cause high liver enzymes… since I am an alcoholic my doctor prefers for me to not take them unless I have to (even though I’m not drinking anymore!). Also. With my generalized anxiety disorder and the return of the weird physical symptoms, being outside hiking is REALLY good for that. It’s one of the best things for anxiety, actually. My counselor has told me that she wants me to walk 30 minutes a day and I haven’t been doing that. I find joy in being outside. I love hiking. I have just gotten out of the habit. I used to hike ALL THE TIME. Also, we are backpacking in a couple of months and I am NOT physically ready for that! It’s just the best habit to focus on right now!
My goal is 2-3 times a week by myself and once a week with the kids to do their nature study . I would like to do what my counselor told me to do (every day), but I’m going to start slow.
Overall I am doing SO well right now. I just still have this anxiety. And it’s weird that I’m having the breathing issue off and on. I know the anxiety is always going to be there, but my counselor tells me that I can get it more manageable if I get outside exercise. So that is what I will do!
Robert also reminded me that usually when I am active, everything else falls into place. I am more consistent with a lot of things in my life… time in the Word, eating healthier, I’m more active in the community, etc because I’m feeling good mentally!