I have been waiting a number of days to write this post because I didn’t want to “jinx” myself.

I *think* I have finally found the solution to my anxiety breathing problem.

I told my doctor on Wednesday that I really think it is one of the medications that she put me on (Risperidone) that was causing the issue.  It is a bipolar med but I’m on 2 others and I don’t really think it was serving me.  So she agreed that it would be good for me to stop taking it.  I also asked to try a med (hydroxyzine) that my mom takes every day and it’s often used to help with panic attacks and severe anxiety as needed instead of a benzo (like Xanax that I used to take).  She agreed (kind of laughing because I keep wanting to try things).   I was super nervous because I’ve heard that it knocks some people out.

Wednesday I had a long, long day and a LOT of anxiety.  I could barely breathe by the end of the day.  I took a hydroxyzine and the anxiety was GONE with-in 15-20 minutes.  It blew me away!  It didn’t make me sleepy, which surprised me.  Unfortunately, it makes me sleepy the next morning.  But.  I’m okay with that for now.  I will probably stop taking it daily.  I just wanted to get off of Risperidone first.

I think that was “key” though.  Getting off of Risperidone.  The reason I asked to stop taking it is that I was remembering that the anxiety breathing issue started soon after I started taking that med!  I’m not sure why I didn’t think of it earlier.

Now I’m hoping that I can live life like a “normal” person.  I’m sure I will still have anxiety some, but now I have a medicine that can combat it, and I don’t feel paralyzed like I have been the past several months.  It has been miserable.

I want to thrive!!  It has been so long!

I’m at my parents’ and on the way here I was singing and dancing in the car.  It felt good to feel some joy again.  It’s just been so long.

Still taking it one. day. at. a. time.