February 16, 2018 by Courtney
I’m so thankful that the weekend is coming. And I’m also happy that today is a “chill day.” I have a short list and my goal is to focus on self care!
I have been off of Facebook for a little over two days and I’m already thinking I won’t get back on. We’ll see. I’m only two days in :-).
I have realized by deactivating that I have allowed others’ opinions to affect me greatly. I am thinking more clearly and deciding what I think is best versus what others say is best. I also seem to be less anxious and I’m able to just rest and feel more calm and peaceful. I used to be on FB for hours and hours a day. It was real bad.
I’m reading more, focusing on Jesus and reading His word, focusing on taking care of the house, and I’m more present with my family. My kids are super happy that I’m not on Facebook or Instagram right now because I’m not completely focused on my phone. I feel like that’s a sign.
One of the things that I’m processing through is my feelings about the Balance 365 program. When I first started it, weight loss was an option but it wasn’t the focus. They would say “your body, your business.” Recently it has become the focus so I feel like it’s just another diet at this point. I have been triggered by the “weight loss testimonials” lately. It makes me feel like if I’m not losing weight or wanting to lose weight that I’m failing. One of the co-founders even posted 3 pictures… one of her as a size 0, one as a size 14, and now as a size 4. It was a bit much for me. I have been torn about it for a while, but I feel like getting off of Facebook and not being in the groups has been helpful for me to figure out what I truly think about it. I guess I can also focus on just doing the program how I want and not be involved in the groups. I’m just taking a step back for right now. My goal is to continue focusing on intuitive eating and start doing joyful movement again (hiking to start). My biggest goal is mental health. I can’t handle a lot outside of that.
I also think that being on Facebook has affected my thoughts about Jesus and it has made me more distant from Him. It’s hard to explain, but I was bitter and angry for a long time and reading comments and posts about Him (in a negative way) affected me (since I was already struggling). I need to decide what I believe despite what others believe.
I’m more likely to get back on Instagram than on Facebook. Again, we’ll see. I have a long time before my 40 days of fasting is over.
Yesterday I was sick. I thought I was coming down with the flu. I woke up achy and had chills. I was hot, then cold, then hot, etc. I had an upset stomach and felt like I was going to pass out. My temp never got above 99.3 so that’s good. I also had a horrible cough. I couldn’t breathe in without coughing. Luckily I woke up feeling mostly better this morning. I still have a cough but it’s not as bad, and I’m not achy anymore. My temp is completely normal. I’m not sure what happened, but I’m just thankful that I’m feeling better today!
So far today I have: taken my morning meds, ate breakfast, did the dishes, made my bed, and picked up the house. My plan for the rest of the day: finish this blog post, write another blog post to be published on Sunday of my meal plan for next week, do my She Reads Truth Bible study, finish laundry, sweep and vacuum (one rug), and do a little bit of food prep. I might take a short nap because I’m super tired still.
Alright… I’m going to work on my list! I hope you have a wonderful Friday! What are your plans this weekend?