This week has felt so long. The main reason is that I haven’t slept well this week, and I’m still feeling the affects of my really hard Wednesday. Yesterday I slept alllll morning. I did get up and get busy though, so that’s nice.
I work really, really hard to stay out of bed. It’s so easy to just sleep since I’m home alone all the time and I’m usually really tired, but I know that leads to depression so I fight it. If I do take a nap, I try really hard to just sleep an hour or so. But yesterday I needed lots of rest. I think there’s a such thing as an anxiety and/or panic attack “hang over.” Just feel so worn.
I am determined to make today good! I got up at about 6:30 and got my coffee. I tried to do my Bible study but I was just too tired still to comprehend what I was reading. I’ll try again this afternoon.
I got up and cleaned up the house. Dishes, the boys’ room, the kids’ bathroom, picked up things around the house, made my bed, etc. I have one load of laundry going (I try to do one a day and it makes things so much more manageable… and our whites don’t stay super white because I don’t sort).
I plan to do some AA work (re-typing our script), Younique work, Bible study, etc, etc.
So besides cleaning and working, what is making today Fri-Yay? Why am I happy? I am growing every day. Wednesday was real hard but it taught me so much about myself. It reminded me that I don’t want to just be a blob on the couch. I want to have purpose and meaning in my life. I want to glorify God in what I do and say. I want to help others be sober and women to love who they are and feel good about themselves. I want to challenge myself. I want to get out of my comfort zone. I feel like these things happen through my blog, through leading AA, and through being a presenter through Younique. I have the ability to do so much with my life. So, I can’t work full time. That’s fine. I don’t need to. God has provided for our needs. Sure things are tight, but our needs are always met. I have kind of come to terms with the fact that working probably isn’t in my future, but I am learning to be happy with staying home and taking care of our home.
Yesterday Levi got me a blanket and pillow to lay down because he said they don’t thank me enough for making the food and doing all the things. It was in that moment that I realized what I’m doing is enough. It’s good. It’s God glorifying. Our kids feel safe and peaceful in our home. Robert doesn’t have to do much when he comes home from work (he works really hard all the time to provide for our family). They always have clean clothes (they do have to fold them and put them away, but that’s beside the point haha). They have all of their needs met. It’s those things that matter.
I know I’ve said this, but I’m so excited about my new business. I have always said I will never do direct sales/network marketing. So why now? I have watched women come out of their shell, become confident, get out of their comfort zone, grown in an amazing team of women, make good money, have their makeup paid for, become confident in who they are, have purpose, grow, learn good business practices, and just have fun in this business. Younique is about empowering women and I’m just all for that. It’s about true self care. Loving ourselves. I could go on and on. I haven’t even received my presenter kit and other makeup and tools that I’ve ordered (they had some issues with shipping), but I have seen so much good already just being in my team Facebook group and adding new friends from the group.
God is good. I have had a lot of hard years, and I know hard days, weeks, and possibly months are ahead. But I am thankful that today is a good day.