Living in Serenity

I am currently sitting on my parents’ huge porch, on a recliner, with a blanket, and enjoying the sounds around me.  The sprinkle on the tin roof, the rooster crowing, the turkey talking, and I’m playing my worship music as well.

I didn’t realize how badly I needed a weekend away.  A weekend to just sit and not feel guilty about doing nothing (my dad is currently feeding the kids).  A weekend to write.  A weekend to sleep.  It’s just so nice.

Don’t get me wrong, I am in love with my life.  But I always feel bad when I’m not cleaning, doing laundry, or something else “productive.”  Sometimes it’s just nice to do nothing.  My kids also needed a break.  A break from chores and the busyness of their life.  They get up at 5:30 every week day and don’t get home till about 4:30.  Then they usually go play with friends until dinner.  The shower and bed.  And again and again.  Weekends are usually filled with chores and playing outside and/or with friends.  Not much resting.  Here they watch t.v. and rest.  Well, of course Ethan doesn’t.  He has to be moving constantly.  So he has been helping Pawpaw with fixing lawn mowers (my dad has a business out of his garage where he fixes small engines).  Ethan is actually a huge help to my dad.  He learns so much.

I can’t wait till summer and we can be here a lot.  Because summer at camp is so busy, we will want to get away!

Anyway…

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday.  I always drive 2 hours to only see her for 10-15 minutes.  It makes me laugh.  I wish we could just talk on the phone.  But I get it.  She was so pleased to hear that these past 3 months have been amazing for me.  She was surprised because she put me on a super low dose of the new med.  And it’s not even necessarily for bipolar, depression, or anxiety.  But it seems to be working!  I call it a miracle medication.  She gave me another 3 months’ worth of all my meds, and I don’t have to go back till July!  So at this point I’m stable enough that I only have to go in every 3 months instead of monthly like it used to be.  Until recently, I literally had seen a psychiatrist every 1-2 months for years!

I’m so thankful today.  I am 18 months sober, and I’m mentally stable!  Praise God.

I truly know what serenity feels like.

One of the 12, 9th step promises is about knowing serenity.  And I feel like I do at this point.

Also, I know that I talk about this a lot, but it has changed my life!  I love love love being a Younique presenter.  I love making the videos, doing the parties, talking with people, networking, making $$, buying makeup, putting on makeup, talking with my team and sponsor, helping other ladies, getting out of my comfort zone, doing things I thought I would never do, being a part of an amazing company with an amazing foundation that helps women who have been sexually abused, doing personal development, being a better me, working hard, being an inspiration for others, and I could go on and on.  It has changed me for the better.

All this to say, I have hit yellow status (which is a huge accomplishment), and I’m about 42% to pink status and plan to get there by April 30th at 11:59pm.  Do you want to help?  Comment below and I’ll get with you!

I’m also starting over with the Balance 365 program.  I took a break from it to see if it’s what I actually want to do. I have decided it’s for me, and I want to follow the program, so I sent off to have it printed and bound!  It’ll be on its way soon and I will get started right away!  They just recently made this an option and I think it’s going to make the program so much easier to follow.

God is good.  Life is good.  I’m thankful for this time, even if it doesn’t last forever.  I will enjoy it while I have it.  And maybe it will last.  I feel like God leading me to the right doctor, the right meds, the right people, and the right business has made so much difference for me.  Also working really hard on my outlook, learning to be more positive, and believing the best about people has changed me.  Maybe this is my new life.  Only time will tell.

 

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