July 22, 2018 by Courtney
We are currently at my in-laws in New Mexico and this is the first time that we have been here that I haven’t been struggling a ton. This past December I wasn’t feeling well. Last summer I was struggling with hyperventilation syndrome and a terrible cough. I wasn’t functioning well and spent a ton of time in the hotel at family camp (my in-laws live at one of our other camps; Glorieta).
It’s such a relief to be feeling so much better than in the past. I’m so thankful. I did sleep super late but it was because yesterday we got up at 4:30 and I didn’t get to sleep till about 2:00 (our time). So I was awake almost 24 hours! So I slept super late.
Currently I’m just hanging out, but in a little while I will shower and get ready. We will be spending opening day of Family camp with the other families going to Colorado as the guys go get the groceries for our week. One of the families’ car died so they will have to figure out a rental in the morning which means we won’t be leaving as early… but that’s okay. Everything is chill and I’m LOVING that. I have a hard time with crazy and stressful. Everyone is laid back and just enjoying things as they come.
This is what I’m trying to become… laid back. Even when things are unsettled and unsure. Because ultimately a lot of things are out of our control. God is the one in control.
Things with this possible job have been kind of rough. I found out yesterday that my teaching certification was going to be expired as of the 31st. So I was panicking because I didn’t think I had enough hours to renew it. I haven’t taught in quite a while.
Then I started talking with my cousin. 20% of that can be independent study. So I’m counting curriculum research, lesson planning, and homeschooling as independent study. Then all of the inservice, faculty meetings, workshops, etc during the years that I did teach count as hours. So I added up those hours and I have more than enough. I ended up going ahead and applying to renew yesterday. It was only $22 and I feel so much better.
The hard part is that I had emailed the principal telling him that I was about to not be certified and I wasn’t sure if I could get enough hours before then. Then I emailed and told him that I added up my hours and realized I had enough.
I feel silly that I keep emailing him, especially after an incident with my phone that was having issues and I called him multiple times to be able to leave a voicemail the other day (long story). He joked that I was “blowing up his phone.” I so hope this hasn’t hurt me.
I’m also worried that my involvement in the 12 step community and the fact that I went to rehab will get around to him and that it’ll affect things…
But it is what it is. And like I said, God is in control of all of this. I am an “over-communicator.” Always have been and always will be. So if this bothers him, then I’m not the right fit for the job :-). If he can handle this, then maybe I am the right fit.
I feel that I have a LOT to offer, and I’m a very great educator. I’m also a fantastic friend and employee. I will fight for what’s right and have integrity. I am passionate. I love well. I care deeply. I love researching and spending a lot of time planning my lessons. I try to think out of the box. I love activities and hands-on projects. I love doing guided reading and things that are more individualized. I work with kids one-on-one as necessary. I know that all kids have the ability to improve and grow into the people that they can become. I say all of this because in the past I wouldn’t be able to “brag” about myself… but as I’ve grown, I have been able to be who God has made me to be.
If this doesn’t work out, I’m not sure what I will do. But I have confidence that God has a plan and has reminded me that I AM an educator and will allow that to happen over time. He knows what’s best. Homeschooling isn’t a good fit for us so I will have to be an educator in another way.
I love that God’s plans are so much better than my own. I have seen that time and time again and have confidence in that. I am at peace with whatever happens because of that confidence.
Thanks for letting me sharing my thoughts about all that has been happening. I have been somewhat anxious, but not too bad. It always helps to get it out. Now I can go on about my day and enjoy what’s to come!
Enjoy your week! I will be away from social media tomorrow afternoon (my birthday) through Friday! It’ll be refreshing!