September 4, 2018 by Courtney
I used to think that was dumb. I mean, I am ENOUGH where I am. Jesus loves me, my family loves me, and I don’t HAVE to change to prove that I am worthy. I know all of these things. But I have spent so much of my life living mediocre because of that and not living to my full potential.
Working hard to be the best me means that I feel so much better in general and can pour into my friends and family more. It’s all about self care and self love. Not self hatred.
Summer had me feeling super blah about a lot of things, but with the kids back in school, I’ve decided that it’s time to focus on my self care again (I’ve let it slide). This doesn’t mean lay around watching Netflix (because while I enjoy it sometimes, honestly, after a little while it makes me feel like crap). It means living life to the fullest and working on myself. Thanks to Balance 365, I’ve learned that habit building is the best way to do this. Trying to change all-the-things isn’t sustainable long term. So I’m taking it slow and focusing on doing the things that I’m already doing WELL and adding in one more thing.
I have gotten back to doing a load of laundry a day, keeping the house clean, etc because the kids are in school and aren’t making the house a disaster. Unfortunately, this weekend things got a bit crazy around the house again.
Yesterday we cleaned the house, got caught up on laundry, did my food prep, planned the week out on my Happy Planner, set the coffee up for the morning, and updated the meal plan.
When I wear makeup, I have good nighttime habits of taking good care of my skin (I don’t when I don’t wear makeup, but I’ll get there). I use all Younique products including Shine cloths, pore purifying cleanser, rose water, moisturizer, and masks once or so a week.
I am also pretty good at intuitive eating (basically eating when I’m hungry and stopping when I’m comfortably satisfied). Balance 365 calls this True Hunger and Goldilocks.
I know how to eat balanced (protein, carbs, fat, and fruit/veggies). I don’t always eat that way, but I’m okay with that. I just go with the flow in this area. Meal planning helps this so much and I have gotten back to that (which I have done for years and struggled with over the summer). I also meal prep on Sundays which helps me feel successful for the week.
These are habits that I feel successful at regularly.
The thing that I’m adding back in is intentional movement (specifically hiking). I have struggled desperately to get back out on the trail or be active in any form, at all. I have been lazy for so long that I don’t even know where to start. So I talked with my friends who love hiking in my Balance 365 group and I realized that what has been missing is a “habit trigger.” This is basically something telling me it’s time to get up and moving. I have also had an all-or-nothing mindset about it. Either hike every day (which I haven’t been successful at) or don’t hike at all. So I’ve decided to adopt an all-or-something mindset and I will be hiking twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I will keep it super simple at first, maybe hiking a small trail. I will work up to a longer trail over time. Luckily mornings are starting to be a little cooler so I can handle it much better than even a week or two ago.
Then there’s my business. I have been kinda hanging out on the sidelines for a while because, well, I’m not sure. I know that the kids being home has been hard and also just feeling “blah” in general has made it hard. I also struggle with the fact that I can’t buy all the new things that come out (yet!) so there’s that. But I have revamped how I’m doing my business and have some fun things ahead! Join my group (Be Unapologetically Yourself) if you are interested in what’s to come! I don’t focus 100% on makeup in there. I do themed posts (like Thankful Thursday) and starting this coming week I will be showing videos of how I do things like make homemade granola (and other homemade foods), how I organize, how I meal plan, meal prep, etc. It’s going to be super fun! I also share live videos that I make. It’s a fun place to be! I do give aways sometimes as well!
I will be honest and say that I have had a hard time focusing on Jesus and how He has changed my life… because I have so many hang ups these days with church and the Bible. I still believe in Jesus, His sacrifice, salvation, and all the important things. But I struggle with intimacy with Him right now, and I also have lots of questions and doubts about certain things. I will probably blog about those when I get the courage to do so. Just because we struggle with things doesn’t mean we love Jesus any less or that He loves us any less. It’s human nature. I talked with a friend about something important the other night and it has me thinking lots and praying. I really want to understand His will and plan. I’m not sure that I ever will, but I can keep trying. Starting in October the women here are continuing our study on Judges which has been interesting. I have been praying more which has been amazing. Church has been something that I have been back and forth about.
We were going to a church in Kerrville that is Presbyterian, but I struggle with quite a few things that they believe. Infant baptism, sprinkling baptism, and their views on women in the church just to name a few.
Then we have thought about going to the First Baptist Church in Rocksprings (since that is our community), but I am torn because I grew up Southern Baptist and struggle with their views on some things. But I DO like that the youth leader is a female (the boy’s second grade teacher), and I have heard amazing things about the new pastor so I think we’re going to try it out. I miss church. Robert and I had decided to stop going to church back in May but I feel that my faith has regressed. I think church is important for growth and intimacy with Jesus. So I think we will try next Sunday! Maybe I can learn to ask the hard questions and become satisfied.
I feel like my blog these days is a mind dump. I’m sorry if it is. I mainly blog for myself and hope that it helps someone. Will you throw a comment below if you read? I have almost 400 followers but very few comments!