October 12, 2018 by Courtney
TWO years, one day at a time! I can’t believe I’ve made it this far! It feels like I was in the treatment center a few months ago. I had such an amazing experience there and learned and grew so much. And they taught me how to stay sober: rely on God, work the steps, be consistent with AA, and take it one day at a time. Also getting mentally stable has helped so much. And I think the sobriety has helped me become mentally stable.
I stepped way out of my comfort zone the day I decided to go to La Hacienda. Then I continued by being a leader while I was there (not something I would normally do). I was the prayer leader one week and president another week (lots of people voted for me). People loved and believed in me. I had a counselor that told it like it is and challenged me to be myself yet get out of my head and make decisions that would better me and better my family. She was very confident that I am NOT disabled, and I have a lot to offer, even if that means focusing on taking care of my family. That is a big job.
She reminded me that I have a lot to work through and encouraged me to seek out the counseling from my amazing counselor who does EMDR treatment. It has been super helpful for me; of course, I have a long way to go still. The healing of all that I’ve been through is a long-term journey. And I’m okay with that.
This blog is a huge outlet for me for my healing journey. I am healing from the trauma of bullying for years growing up, being hurt by my classmates, sexual abuse as a 3 1/2 year old, and the traumatic, gruesome death of my only sibling. Then the bipolar 2 and severe anxiety to top it off. But I’m doing it. I’m doing the work and healing.
AA has been a game changer for me. The meetings, the steps, and my sponsor has helped with the life change. The camaraderie of people like me who have been sober for years and years (and still going to meetings) has been amazing for me. The steps have taught me to work through my junk, forgive those who have hurt me, find my part in each thing (if I have a part), and make amends with people has been huge. My sponsor has been there as I’ve needed to do a fifth step a few more times. Sharing more fourth step work. And most of all, relying on my Savior to overcome this addiction and continue my healing.
My husband has been so supportive and a great source of accountability. The option to drink wasn’t there. He stopped drinking for the most part (he may grab a beer with a friend when he’s not with me). My kids have been so so thankful that I am no longer drinking and they make that clear each day. They remind me of what I was like when I was drinking and it gives me an extra push to stay sober.
My friends have been there for me as well. Super encouraging and reminding me what I can do and handle through Christ. Kari (my best friend), my Bible study ladies, and many others.
The healthy habits group that I’m in and the paid Balance 365 group has been a huge source of support and encouragement as I have shared my journey the past 2 years.
I’m so blessed, thankful, and excited for what’s to come! God has an amazing plan!