October 24, 2018 by Courtney
So… I couldn’t decide which pic to represent ME and I decided to show both because I enjoy makeup, and I enjoy makeup-free as well! I find that there is beauty in both, and my husband and kids prefer me without makeup so I’m going without a little more!
I have spent the past 8 months trying to be someone I’m not and it complicated my life a lot. I went from focusing on living simply (and trying to be minimal in purchasing items) to focusing on selling products (and buying lots). Also like I’ve said before, pestering people to buy products and do parties for me is something I never wanted to do. I always get annoyed with people who do that to me (even when I was selling!). I bought SO much makeup and spent a ton of money on it. Way more than I ever made. Cause I didn’t really make much at all.
All of that energy that I’ve been putting into Younique I can now put into things that I love. Even though I have done things that I enjoy, the fact that I needed to be working was always in the back of my mind. The expectation is to work every single day. And I didn’t want to! So I always felt bad that I wasn’t working when I wasn’t working.
As much as I like makeup, it’s not something I want to be focusing on every single day. I want to be okay with not wearing it. I want to focus on the outdoors again. Camping, hiking, backpacking, etc. I want to feel fine about throwing my hair up and wearing my favorite clothes (jeans and a t-shirt). I never felt like I looked nice enough when I was doing live videos.
So here I am embracing who I am and feeling at peace and excited about things. We are planning to go camping/backpacking/hiking at Big Bend State Park as a family the weekend/week before Thanksgiving and I cannot wait! I went all week last week without wearing makeup (well, except for 1 day), and it was so freeing. Again, I like makeup a lot! I just hate feeling like I HAVE to wear it!
I updated my “About Me,” “Simple Living,” “Self Care” pages, and I have deleted my Younique page. Whew! So freeing!
On Sunday, my friend cut my hair and I love the ease and simplicity of it. I can put it in a pony tail or I can dry it and straighten it in like 5 minutes. Either one works for me.
As you can see, she cut off a lot! And look how unhealthy my hair was before and how healthy it is now.
I use a lot less shampoo and conditioner and drying it is so easy and fast. Short hair is more me. And Robert loves it short. Always has. That’s how we met and every time I cut it short he is happy. I mean obviously he loves me and finds me attractive either way, but short is his preference. But I cut it for my comfort and simplicity.
I posted this yesterday. First, These pics were taken less than a day apart. There’s a huge difference when you sit! Second, I’m loving seeing pics of myself these days. I have become more body neutral (not loving my body quite yet but I’m getting there), so seeing pics of myself doesn’t trigger a negative response like it used to. Thank goodness.
I’ve learned that my bigger size doesn’t necessarily mean I’m unhealthy. Healthy behaviors = healthy body and mind. I’m working on creating one healthy habit at a time thanks to Balance 365.
I have decided that I’m content right where I am. With my body. With staying home and taking care of the house and my kids. With being a little OCD. With all the meds that I’m on for my mental health. With using cash to budget (I’m doing pretty well!). With doing more as a family outdoors. Lighting candles that make me happy. Decorating for Christmas in a week or two even though it’s “early” by many people’s standards. Haha. With cooking healthy meals sometimes and frozen pizza and pop tarts sometimes. With the Bible study that I host. With the friendships that I’m making. With going to AA once a week. With the church that we started going to.
Things are just so good. I have so much gratitude all day, every day. God is good. Life is good. Stability is amazing. Sobriety is why things are so good, I’m sure of it.