It’s early morning of December 27th and I am so thankful that God woke me up early today. I have spent the past several days resting.
As an introvert, being around people all the time (especially a large amount) takes so much of my energy. When I was super worn out Monday and Tuesday (Christmas Eve and Christmas Day), I felt guilty. I didn’t do the things that I had planned. Instead we opened presents Christmas Eve (mostly because I didn’t think I’d be able to wake up early Christmas morning, but also because I was excited to give them their gifts). We did a movie marathon that night instead of playing games because I was so worn out. We had finger foods instead of tamales and chili. On Christmas Day we didn’t have a meal with friends because we were all people’d out. I woke up kind of late. We ate tamales for lunch, but no chili. We ate finger foods again for dinner with more movies.
Yesterday I was in bed all but 4-5 hours the whole day. I didn’t sleep well the night before (tossed and turned all night), my back has been hurting a lot, and I’m just so dang tired. I got up to take down Christmas stuff (which was sooooo nice), clean up a bit, and make a nice dinner. Then I went back to bed and read for quite a while.
Last night while I was laying in bed, I started to feel super guilty, which affects my mental health. I hated that my family got my leftovers. It made me realize that maybe I need to simplify Christmas. I know I don’t see my mom and dad’s side of the family often, but I feel that giving my husband and kids my best is the most important. I’m definitely going to be more intentional in the years to come.
But also, my cousin reminded me that as an introvert, it’s normal to need lots of rest after spending a lot of time with a lot of people for many days in a row (we also had Christmas parties last Thursday at school on top of all the family celebrations).
After a while of feeling guilty, I began to think about what I have given my kids by resting the past few days. I have given them the freedom to just enjoy their gifts, to play with friends, to eat foods that they enjoy, to watch movies that they love, and to experience the holidays without my usual high expectations and plans. In some ways it wasn’t intentional (mostly because we didn’t do what I had planned), but in many ways it was. Teaching them freedom, grace, free play, and rest is so important. I hope they always remember this Christmas with peace and joy in their hearts.
Next time you’re bummed because things didn’t go as planned, sit back and recognize that maybe it was God’s plan. He loves you and knows what’s best.