I just read a blog post titled Confessions of a (Reformed) Natural Mom.
It was such a great reminder to me of where I’ve been and who I am now.
When my boys were babies/toddlers/preschoolers, I did all the “natural” things and honestly thought I was a better mom because of it. That was my identity. I was “crunchy” and called myself a hippie a lot of times. My mom called me “Earth Mama” and I was super proud.
I obsessed over being natural. Like that’s alllll I thought about and read about.
I had two homebirths (which I don’t regret), did everything possible to breastfeed (despite insufficient glandular tissue), drove over an hour one way to get raw milk, had backyard chickens multiple times, ground my own flour, tried to sprout my own grains, made homemade kefir and kombucha, used “real salt,” soaked my grains, used cloth diapers, made my own personal care products, made my own cleaners and detergents (which I’ve started doing again), got rid of all plastic because of BPA, spent a fortune on things that I couldn’t afford (including all organic/grass fed/pastured/cage free/local), wore my babies (which I don’t regret), delayed vaccinations, tried oils for everything including strep, didn’t give many meds, and avoided getting help for my mental illness.
Over the years, I finally got medical help for my mental illnesses. At this point I’m on 6 mental health meds, a thyroid med, reflux meds, cholesterol med, allergy meds, and birth control. I’m ONLY on birth control because it helps my mental health, so I guess that’s 7 mental health meds.
And I own it! I am a completely different person in a positive way because of the meds that I’m on!!
I drink too much Coke Zero. I’m working on it still. But now I’m working on it because it doesn’t make me feel great, not because I think it will kill me.
I enjoy making foods homemade, and I think they taste better. They are just part of my routine now. It’s not because I think I’m better for it.
I use some essential oils to enhance things (mostly because I like the way they smell and they help me sleep). I don’t think they are a cure all, and I will always choose meds if needed. I don’t think I will ever sell them because I don’t believe in them enough for all the things.
I have my own style, I enjoy the outdoors, I love succulents, and lots of random patterns. I still would prefer to wear a t-shirt and jeans with Toms or Chacos any day of the week.
I have learned that I am me. I am not “natural mom” or “crunchy” or “granola” or “hippie.” I like what I like and have reasons why I like it, not just because I feel like it’s expected of me.
My priorities are to Jesus, my family, my self care, and my friends. They aren’t to be a certain kind of person or to have a label.
I hope that comes across here. I never want to go back to who I was when I was secretly (or not so secretly) judging all the other moms.
Sometimes I use natural things and sometimes I use unnatural things (and really, what’s natural and unnatural anyway?). That’s the real question. All things are made from chemicals.
I’m trying to keep my feet on the ground and keep focused. I trust that God will continue to remind me of where I’ve been, where I am now, and where I’m headed.