What do I?

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January 25, 2019 by Courtney

After I wrote my post earlier today, I had an epiphany.  Maybe the reason I keep chasing after something that I find out doesn’t work for me (over and over and over again) is because I just don’t even know what I like.  Or what I dislike.  Or what I believe.  What I fear.

I mean, I have an idea, but at 36 years old I find myself still chasing something.

On top of the fact that I am insecure in many areas of my life, I’m also a major people pleaser.  So I think over the years I have made decisions or gone with things based on what I think people want from me or what I think I should do or think. Also, I think social media has played a huge role in my life as well.  Between my Facebook feed, my Facebook groups, ads, blog posts, social media celebrities, all of the MLMs out there, and so much more,  I have allowed so much to affect who I am or who I think I am.

I have decided that while I’m taking a break from Facebook (mostly at least… I still have my account so that I can use messenger), I will go on a journey of what do I like?  What do I dislike?  What do I believe?  What do I fear?  Etc.

I’m excited.  I am hoping that this will relieve some anxiety and depression and possibly reduce the possibility for more issues in the future.  We’ll see how it goes.

This reminds me of when the character in Runaway Bride decides to figure out who she is and what she likes.  I remember when she tried all of the different types of eggs.  This is kind of like that.  I wish I already knew how I felt about things, and I do about some, but I want to figure out all the things.

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