February 6, 2019 by Courtney
I have so many things running through my mind and while I feel the struggle to get them out in an orderly way, I feel the need nonetheless. So, I’m going to try.
Sunday was an amazing day. I slept 7 1/2 hours the night before and woke up at 6 feeling rested. This doesn’t usually happen. So we decided (after going back and forth) to go to church. Not only was it amazing to hear the gospel shared over and over, it was also potluck Sunday so we got to hang out afterwards with people and get to know them. The kids had a blast hanging out with some of their school friends. Even Karis connected. It was everything we could ask for.
In the afternoon, I helped Karis work a bit on her room. We took “little kid stuff” off her walls and put new things up (some things that I had taken down in my office). We made room for a tapestry that I ordered.
I also took a shelf from her room and put it in my office for my essential oils. It was mine anyway; my grandpa made it for me when I was a kid.
Ethan did some homework that he needed to get done.
Then in the evening, instead of going to the Super Bowl party, we decided to have a night in, watch Transformers (SO good), and I did a bunch of food prep. This may sound weird, but it’s one of my favorite parts of my week. I LOVE feeling productive, having things ready for the week, and being able to eat “healthy” food because I do all of the prep. I also got the coffee ready for the next morning and set up my med container with my meds for the week.
I started the week with a mostly clean house, a clean kitchen, coffee set up for the morning, my meds ready for the week, and a positive attitude.
I did a bit of self care as well.
Then Monday happened.
In some ways it was great. I did my Bible study in the morning (She Reads Truth, Attributes of God), went to AA, dropped a huge load of things off at the Thrift Store in Rocksprings, and we had Bible study that night.
The hard parts were that I was exhausted all day (ugh), then Ethan came home after a terrible day.
This is the thing. I know my son well. I know that he’s dramatic so I often take things with a grain of salt, but he was bullied on Monday and half the class joined in right in front of the sub who did nothing about it. So this mama bear is mad.
The kid who started it all has a history of being a bully to not only Ethan, but lots of kids. I’m not sure why it keeps happening. I mean, I know that his life is rough, and I try to teach Ethan empathy about that (which, he is a pretty empathetic person in general), but I also don’t want him to think it’s okay for anyone to treat him that way.
This kid called Ethan freckle face (which happens often). Then when Ethan said something, this kid called him a chicken and got the kids involved in making chicken noises at him. Then when Ethan started crying, the kids started calling him a crybaby. This happened while the sub just sat and watched (which I was later told that he’s an “older gentleman” and that he couldn’t hear well). I have been told that Ethan’s friend told his parents about it, the same story. Also, Ethan’s story never once changed. He was consistent.
Ethan has had stomach pain off and on for quite a while. He goes to the nurse about it a lot and talks about it at home. He seems to be okay when he’s doing something that is good for him like being with friends and riding his bike. That’s why I think it’s from anxiety.
I’m not sure what to do :-(. I want so badly to homeschool him, but Robert isn’t for that. Ultimately Ethan needs the structure that school provides, I just don’t want him to be severely anxious anymore.
I spoke with the assistant principal yesterday afternoon and he told me that he can’t tell me the specifics (they aren’t allowed to tell what they did for discipline of another kid) but he guarantees that it won’t happen again. Apparently Ethan wasn’t the only kid that was in the middle of it, another kid was bullied as well.
Luckily Ethan can tell me the specifics. Apparently this kid was put in ISS for 2 weeks. Unfortunately, this does nothing for him. He goes right back to it when he gets out. I guess we’ll see what happens. I will be staying on top of it.
I had a very anxious few days. I ended the night last night feeling overwhelmed.
I saw this and it was good timing.
Praise God that His mercies are new every morning.
I woke up at about 6 on my own this morning. I feel pretty good.
I got up, had coffee in my new mug, planned my day, and now I’m writing this.
I’m going to Rocksprings today to fill out an application to sub and I hope to start next week. I also decided to take the kids to the book fair this afternoon, take a picnic dinner, go by the gym to see the updates and for the kids to meet my friends, and take the kids to church. Karis will be going to youth group (Refuge) for the first time and I will be helping with Team Kid. I think I have a good day ahead. I will also be showering, fixing my hair, and put on make up. Being somewhat busy plus getting ready makes a big difference for me.
I decided that one of the big problems with Monday was a sub issue. They are super short on subs; so, instead of complaining and leaving it there, I decided to be a part of the solution. I won’t sub every day, but I’ll be around.
The sun is out, it’s warm out, and the birds are singing! It’s a good day for a good day!