Gosh. I feel like God has worked things out to be the best it can be and I want to shout it to the world. He has taken some hard life situations and turned them into good. I truly believe that he wants what’s best for us. Sometimes it takes the hard to appreciate the amazing.
The boys are doing amazing since I pulled them out of school. They get along really well. They play together. They aren’t on electronics near as much. They are outside more and playing with friends a lot. They enjoy doing school and are really into some things that I never expected in our school time. They are very happy, content, and peaceful.
Ethan still has some things to work out with his mental health (some things aren’t from school issues), but overall he has made great progress already in 3 weeks. Levi has also. In fact, I keep debating whether or not he needs to be seen by the psychologist, but I guess we will find out. Ethan definitely need to see the psychologist, but I don’t think it’s going to take as much as originally thought.
Robert and I are working on problem solving with Ethan. He has a hard time with change or when things don’t go the way he has them set in his mind. But we are working on it, and I see that he will make great strides in the coming months with this.
Karis is doing amazing. She turned 13 yesterday, and while she has a bit of an attitude (which she says she’s working on), she is a really great kid. She is confident, sassy, funny, intelligent, obeys well, works hard, helps around the house, loves to cook and bake, her teachers love her, she’s creative, she loves to read and could put that before anything else, and she loves God. I love to watch her worship. School is the best thing for her. She loves being with her friends and loves some of her teachers. She is a completely different kid than she was a year ago.
I love our home. It’s just the way I want it. The kids love their rooms, and I love my office, kitchen, bedroom, and living room. The decor is perfect for me/us; everything is so cozy and warm. People love to be here, and I love to be home.
We have all of our needs met; our pantry, fridges, and freezers are full. God has provided for the kids’ medical/dental, and my meds aren’t very expensive anymore since camp changed insurance. Since I’ve decided to switch to cash flow budgeting, I’m not afraid of our financial future anymore. God has provided to pay off a few debts and for us to have savings. Robert doesn’t make much, but we have a house, utilities, insurance, and lots of food in the dining hall that are provided. We always know that our needs are met. We only have one debt (well, not counting student loans that are in income based repayment at the moment); we don’t have any car payments. We just have one credit card to pay off and our regular monthly bills like cell phone, Netflix, etc. No cable or anything. We have come so far!
Since I’m back to focusing on natural living, taking care of God’s creation, eating more nutritious foods, etc, I am at such peace. This lifestyle is actually more “me” than I thought. I fit right into it like I never stopped. The eating all processed foods, drinking all the soda, using all the crap products, etc was just me in survival mode (for years). Since I’m coming out of that, it’s freeing my mind up to do what I feel is best.
And onto my favorite thing… homeschooling. I am a completely different person when it comes to this. I have relaxed so much. I am working on becoming minimalist in this area, just focusing on the important things. I love the philosophy of Charlotte Mason and Wild + Free and am adopting that. The kids are playing so much. They are helping around the house and developing good habits. They are in nature more (though we have a lot of growth to happen still in this area). They love to learn and are enjoying homeschooling a lot. They are interested in diving into new topics. They don’t fight it and are super focused now that their ADHD is being treated. Ethan has a “job” (he’s volunteering) in the bike shed, fixing bikes. This is amazing for him and will teach him so much. I’m so thankful to a young man that is working with him. It means a lot to him and to me. Ethan and Levi help in the kitchen at camp. They can’t do a ton because of their age, but they help in the dish room and setting up the dining hall portion. They are growing up and desiring to serve. I love it so much. This is only possible because of homeschooling.
Also a few more things that are amazing… my relationship with Jesus is growing. He is teaching me so much and I love spending time in His word. I’m working on my prayer life and am learning to just pray through the day and that it doesn’t have to look a certain way. We are slowly working on our church attendance because I see a huge difference in me and in my family when we go. I love spending time in worship.
And Robert and I are growing together so much. Our communication is so much better these days. I’m so thankful for all that he has done for me over the years and sticking through the hard to get to the good. He sees a huge difference in me lately and in our kids and feels that we have made the exact right decisions for everything. He’s so supportive and loves to see me joyful and thriving. I’m so grateful for him!
I’ve learned that relationships and mental health need to be first priority over everything else. My relationship with Jesus first, then Robert, then my kids, the rest of my family and friends. It’s more important to me that the boys are mentally healthy and feeling safe than for them to have the most perfect academic education (though I’m working hard with that as well, just in a different way than before… I think they are better at home in this area).
So… like I have written before. I am prepared to have anxiety still and to sometimes be down. That’s reality for me. But if I am prepared, it won’t hit me as hard. I can handle it better. And I just trust God and know that He will continue to provide for me in this area. My meds have changed my life and I know that’s a huge part of how God has provided for me.
I decided not to share tons of pictures like I always do because I feel like what I’ve shared speaks volumes and that’s enough. Sorry that this got so long! I probably could have gone on and on. But this is where I’ll leave you!