Feeling Happy and Hopeful

Yesterday was so good!  I woke up late but feeling better, my cough was minimal, and we got the house clean and laundry mostly caught up (I need to sort/fold the clothes in the dryer, but that’s it).

I showered, put a little makeup on, and went to dinner at the dining hall which I have missed!

Unfortunately I ate and drank things I shouldn’t have with my reflux, but it’s also a good reminder to stick with what I know I can eat!  Also, it’s encouraging that my cough has been getting better with the new meds and eating in a way that is beneficial to my reflux!  It’s worth the work!

I wrote this on Facebook yesterday:

“This is a long post…

I have attempted to not talk about weight too much because it’s not super important in a lot of ways. I’m happy with who I am and know that my weight means nothing about my character, love for Jesus, or love for my family and friends. I am not ashamed about my weight or feel guilty or any of that. But I knew that I needed to start losing weight for self care. I gained about 30 pounds over the past 4-5 years, and the weight is mostly in my belly, which is a huge reason why I have major reflux issues. Couple that with poor habits over the years of drinking soda all day, and my active alcohol addiction for many years, and my body just needed some major self care. And I’m not talking just about taking hot baths and using a mask. I’m talking about really focusing on my habits and eating foods that make me feel good. I’m talking about focusing on mental health and making sure to take my meds regularly. I’m talking about seeing the doctor when I need to, having my blood work done (which I need to do soon!), seeing my counselor when I need to, focusing on my sobriety, and spending some time doing movement that makes me happy. I haven’t been amazing at all of these because I believe that they are habits that take time to master, but I will continue working on them because you know what, life happens and it is impossible to be 100% ever with any of these. I was consistent with exercise several years ago, then I had lots of major mental health issues and all of my good physical habits fell away. It has taken me a long time to get back there, and I’m stuck into not being consistent yet again because running made my reflux so much worse oddly. But I’m okay with that because I will get back there.

All this to say, I have lost 9 pounds in about a month and a half just by eating foods that make me feel good. And I can tell a huge difference. I think it’s a combo of the new meds + eating for self care that have made my reflux get a little better. It’s not 100% by any means, but I am noticing a difference. I’m hoping to start adding in some joyful movement again soon. I’m fearful since it made me feel worse last time, but I’m going to focus on movement that shouldn’t affect my reflux.”

I feel like this sums up a lot.

Also.

Sobriety!

And I have been spending time thinking and talking through homeschooling curriculum (with an awesome mama of 5 who uses a lot of the same stuff that I do).  I realized that I was doing a few things that were causing anxiety around writing: 1) over thinking it, 2) not trusting the writing philosophy of the curriculum that I love so much, 3) trying to control too much.

I decided to let go of trying to add a writing program to our already packed language arts curriculum and just do some fun writing through writing prompts and free writing (the boys are thrilled).

I felt a huge weight lift.  I need to trust that God will guide me through this and that they will get what they need.  I know that it is God’s plan for me to homeschool them, and I know that He has a plan for their lives just like He has for mine!  Also, anything I do is more than what they got at the school (well, at least for Ethan… Levi had great teachers).

So I’m back to only using The Good and the Beautiful for language arts (this covers phonics, reading, spelling, grammar, writing, art appreciation, artist study, and geography) and science (Marine Biology!), they will read novels/books of choice during independent reading time, Story of the World for history (I hope to move to TGTB eventually, it’s just more expensive), Math U See (I might move to TGTB when the higher levels come out), and Nature Anatomy as the spine for our nature studies (plus other random books).  We will also have morning time and I will read aloud during that time.  We will do a lot of that in a loop and the rest won’t take much time each day.  It will be a simple and fun time hopefully.  Also, I LOVE that our homeschooling stuff doesn’t take up much room AT ALL!  Minimalist homeschoolers here!

Tomorrow we are going to our new amazing church, meet with the pastor to talk about hard stuff, then Levi, Karis, and I will be headed to my parents’!  Ethan is going to camp this week, and Robert will be alone till Wednesday when we get back.

Alright… I’m gonna go take a nap!

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