Do It Anyway

I have been struggling mentally along with my continual physical health struggles.  Last Saturday was the 10th anniversary of my brother’s death and the trauma of it all always hits me hard.  I always think I’m prepared, but the anxiety and depression hit anyway.

It has been hard because there is so much going on around camp.

My default when there is a lot going on and I’m not feeling well (mentally or emotionally) is to try to avoid doing all the things.  To bow out.  To stick with the comfort of my home.  To keep myself secure.

Self care is super important, though.  And I’m not just talking about hot baths with epsom salt, face masks, cozying up with a good book kind of self care.  I’m talking about the doing-the-hard-thing kind of self care.  The things that I know will be scary, but I also know will be so helpful to me when I step out and do them.

This isn’t always the answer.  Sometimes the answer really is to take a day of doing nothing.  Sometimes the answer is taking a really long nap.  Sometimes the answer is watching my favorite show or curling up in a warm quilt and reading for hours.

But for me, at this moment, the answer is getting out and being a part of things.  Going to Fredericksburg with my sweet friends (who truly wanted me there).  Going to the ladies’ dessert party.  Going to town.  Baking homemade bread.  Going to the camp Christmas party.  Making granola with Ethan to sell.  Keeping my house mostly clean.  Taking my meds correctly.  Showering and putting on makeup.  Eating nourishing food but also having coffee my way (and candy cane Oreos).  Lighting a candle, but also making sure that school is done.  Not having dairy because even though it is so hard to avoid, it’s necessary.  Drinking water but also having drinks that I enjoy (I got some Blue Sky stevia-sweetened cola yesterday that I’m excited to try).  Having coffee with friends.  Pouring into a couple of Walkabout students.

Doing the hard things an every day occurrence right now because everything takes a lot of energy.  Everything.

You know what, though?  It has made such a difference for me already.  I am looking forward to some rest this weekend, but the week has been full in so many ways.

I realized that I have true friends who want me in their lives.  They were so encouraging and convinced me to be part of things despite how I was feeling.

I had meaningful conversations with a few sweet friends.

I got to be silly and wear my Santa shirt while spending time with friends and eating dessert (and drinking coffee of course).

I had a great day in town with Ethan yesterday.  He and I both needed it.  We had lunch, went to Goodwill and got a few things, went to his counseling appointment, got some homeopathic meds from a couple of health food stores, and got a few things at Walmart.  It was a busy day for sure, but I really enjoyed it!

I made dinner for a Walkabout last night and we watched an episode of The Mandalorian.

Today we are just relaxing/doing some things we enjoy (I’m working on my blog!), then getting ready for the camp Christmas party tonight!

Do the hard things, friends.  Whether that means taking a shower, leaving dishes in the sink, doing the dishes, going out and about, being with people, or anything else that feels hard at the moment.  You will be glad.

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