I feel like I have so, so much to share and I don’t even know where to start! Robert and I went to Big Bend State Park last weekend and it was so amazing and just what we needed for … Continue reading
These past few months have been transformational. I have grown in so many ways. The biggest thing that I’ve learned is that what I believe about myself will be true. If I believe that I can’t handle anything, that I am … Continue reading
Yesterday, I relaxed all morning (drinking coffee of course), then I worked in the house all afternoon. The kids and I cleaned the whole house, I did some laundry, and I organized my office. I also made an amazing vision … Continue reading
I’ve had to make some decisions for my health. Since I stopped dieting, I kind of went the other direction. I immediately gained weight (20-25 pounds), then lost a little as things evened out (about 10 pounds). Unfortunately, though, my … Continue reading
I am currently sitting on my parents’ huge porch, on a recliner, with a blanket, and enjoying the sounds around me. The sprinkle on the tin roof, the rooster crowing, the turkey talking, and I’m playing my worship music as … Continue reading
I’m thankful for Facebook memories. They remind me of how hard things were the past several years in the spring/summer. They remind me of how great I’m doing right now. They remind me that making the decision to put the kids in school (or keep them in school) was the best decision we could have ever made. It has been amazing for all of us.
Even so, life isn’t perfect and there will be hard days/weeks.
I have been so so fatigued again lately despite falling asleep pretty easily most days, and I feel like it has been getting worse. I just had lab work done to check my thyroid and it’s normal now. I probably really should focus on movement. I need to get out and hike more (again). I feel so good when I do, but it’s so hard to convince myself to just get outside. I honestly don’t know if I have the energy to make it happen at this point. But I will try. I have to remind myself that any movement is a good thing. So a 10 minute walk to start is okay! That could be enough to jump start something!
I’ve had a little more anxiety this week as well (though nothing like this time last year and the year before). I’m trying to remember that there is absolutely nothing that I have to do in my day (well, except for picking the kids up from the bus and leading the 12 step meeting in Rocksprings). I always want a spotless house, the laundry caught up, etc because it truly helps me mentally. But I can also let it go for the day if I can’t focus on it for whatever reason. It’s perfectly okay.
Dealing with kid issues is often what causes my anxiety. Ethan has always been my hard kid. In the past, he threw tantrums all day every day. From a baby till not that long ago. When he was homeschooled it was really bad. He struggles badly with relationships and being the “mean kid.” Sometimes I just don’t know what to do with him. He is in counseling, he takes medication for ADHD now (started about a week and a half ago, and hopefully it’ll eventually help his impulsiveness), and his teacher and I are working with him. Unfortunately there are some who can’t see all the work he is doing and just focuses in on his flaws. But I can’t do anything about that. So we keep moving forward. I do need to pray for him more. That’s something big that will help. My friend also shared a scripture with me that I can pray over him and share with him each day.
Psalm 19:14 (from the International Children’s Bible)
“I hope my words and thoughts please you. Lord, you are my Rock, the one who saves me.”
I printed it and will be putting it on the boys’ wall. It would be a good thing for Levi to focus on as well :-).
This is my favorite part of my days lately. It is so so so fun. The women in the community are amazingly supportive and encouraging (who want to see each person succeed), making videos has become fun and less nerve-wracking, there are ALWAYS fun incentives and perks, I’ve made a little bit of money (and have the potential to make a lot over time), I love the makeup, I love the skin care, it’s so nice feeling pretty, I’m taking better care of myself, it gives me some purpose and something to look forward to, I enjoy sharing the makeup with friends and seeing their excitement for our products (and how they make them feel), and I could probably go on and on! I worked several hours today, and it was fun the whole time!
12 Step Meeting
The 12 step meeting is going really well even though we only have a few people going. We have a new guy that is getting what he needs from the group. There are a LOT of alcoholics and addicts in our little town and very few of them are in recovery. Everyone joins each other in their addiction and do it all together. I’m hoping that by being consistent and continuing to show up even if we only have a few people coming that we will be a soft place to land when enough is enough.
Unfortunately, everyone has grown up in their environment so they don’t know any different. Anyone trying to get out of active addiction have a hard time because it’s everywhere.
Yesterday I was 18 months sober!! It’s such an exciting thing!
Robert and the boys are camping and Karis was at a friend’s house until a little while ago. I did a lot of work because the next two weeks I have 4 Younique parties! They will be small, but it’ll be a good chance to learn. My first one will start Monday! I have lots of videos, photos and graphics, etc along with doing at least one live video each day. I hope to do games and activities.
I’ll let you know how they go!
I hope you have a fantastic weekend!
Just like with everything else in life, I try to keep things simple and organized. If not, I feel like life is chaos and I don’t handle that well! So, my meal planning is super simple. Luckily this month we … Continue reading
It’s Good Friday and it’s always interesting to me that they call the remembrance of the death of Jesus a “good” thing. Ultimately it was a good thing for all of His children because He gave His life for us. Because of this we have a new life and the forgiveness of sins. We have grace through faith in Christ. I’m so thankful for His sacrifice.
The kids and Robert have today off. We came to my parents’ for the night and will be going to my Meemaw’s tomorrow to celebrate Easter. Sunday we will be celebrating Easter at camp with a sunrise devotional, some traditions at home that we do every year (The Flowering Cross book and cookie cake, Resurrection eggs, and The Jesus Storybook Bible reading… my kids are growing up and they still want to do these things!), and a pot luck and Easter egg hunt (including a scavenger hunt for the big kids) with camp family. This weekend is going to be amazing :-). Easter is one of my favorite holidays! To remember Christ’s sacrifice and resurrection can’t be bad!
It’s also beautiful this time of year in Texas. It’s in the mid to upper 70s or even in the 80s right now. The sun shines often. Right now there’s a slight breeze, and I’m sitting on their huge covered porch. I had forgotten how relaxing it is here. I know that the kids and I will be back to spending a lot of time here during the summer. It’s much harder to be here during the school year!
I don’t have much to say today! I hope you enjoy this Friday and reflect on Christ’s sacrifice for us!
Good morning friends! Today is starting out with a gorgeous sunrise. I got to listen to the birds sing for a while as well. I love being outside. There’s just something about God’s creation that brings peace and solace.
God is good. In the midst of the struggle, and in the midst of the rest and peace after the struggle. Y’all, I have struggle consistently for years. Like since Karis was born (and even before that, really). Severe anxiety, panic, depression, losing my brother the way I did, relationship issues, etc. I have had some good times, but they usually only lasted a few weeks at a time, and I’ve realized that many of those were times of hypomania. I thought I was just feeling amazing (I know now that it was the feeling of euphoria that I get when I’m hypomanic). And these times were always followed by depression.
I started a new med at the end of January (it’s actually a very old med and for some reason it’s not used very often… it’s also really cheap). I’m on a very low dose (in addition to a lot of other meds). I have been doing great ever since. I mean, I have low days, but they don’t stay that way. Usually it’s because I’m overly tired or dealing with circumstances that are difficult (usually involving one or more of my kids). I have consistently had low anxiety, no lasting depression, have had motivation (but not overly motivated like when I’m hypomanic), and I’ve enjoyed myself more than I have in so long. I have great relationships with people (I’m not assuming the worst as often). I spend more time with friends and family. My family has noticed a HUGE difference in me. They often recall what life was like when I was drinking all the time and when I was depressed all the time. I slept a lot. I was really short with them, yelling a lot.
Anyway… yesterday during Bible study we were studying Judges 3:7-11. In verse 11, it said that the Israelites had rest for 40 years! I was telling my friends how big that was for me and they said that they could see how that would stand out to me. This is so big.
Today is a good day. I got up at 5:20 which is super early after not going to sleep till 11:30, but I am feeling pretty good despite that.
Ethan has been having tummy issues all weekend and again this morning, so he is home today. We’re always so torn about him missing school because he already struggles, but he can’t help it. It is what it is. He’s currently on the couch watching Wonder (again). I’m currently getting ready for the day ahead, including doing some work and planning in my Happy Planner (it makes me happy haha).
I plan to make a few videos and graphics today for my launch party on Wednesday evening for Younique (if you’re interested in joining, let me know!). I will be sharing about myself, my “why,” tutorials for how to use the make up, etc. It’s going to be fun! I’m hoping friends will be really active and involved!
Anyway… I was spending some time in worship this morning and gosh, I was just reminded about God’s love for me, then I was reminded how much He loves you as well. You should watch this video.
As many of you know, my friend and I started a 12 step meeting in our local town (Rocksprings). Through this, I have realized just how many addicts and alcoholics there are in town. The sad part is that there is such a divide among the people of Rocksprings. Those who are addicts (and honestly, most are hispanic and there’s a divide there as well), and those to just want them gone. And my heart is saying, “No! I don’t want them gone, I want them in recovery!” God loves them just as much as He loves me and you. This is really heavy on my heart because so many of them are caught up in the dealing and doing of drugs that they don’t see a way out. It’s all they’ve known.
God’s love is limitless. He doesn’t care what you’ve done because Jesus came and died for our sins and rose from the grave. That’s the beautiful news. The gospel. All we have to do is confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and that He rose from the grave. Ask for forgiveness. Give our lives to Him.
He is good.
Have a great day today remembering that Jesus love you!