For years “natural living” was my way of life, and I made sure everyone knew it.  I was obsessed with that way of living.  It was all I thought about, all I talked about.  My friends all saw me as the “crunchy mama” because of the way I ate, my home-births, baby-wearing, cloth diapering, natural products, natural supplements, essential oils, etc.  In fact, my mom actually called me “Earth mama” (whatever that means haha).  It was my identity.

Last year, I decided it was time to shed that as my identity.  I no longer wanted to be known as the “crunchy mama.”  I wanted to be known for who I was, and that wasn’t actually who I wanted to be anymore.  I needed freedom.

Over this past year (+) I have been running far, far away from that title and identity.  I have gone completely the other direction, and in some ways I’m thankful.  I have rid myself of some unnecessary stress in the process.  I have been focusing mostly on my mental health, and natural living just didn’t fit in there in the midst of it all (some people say that natural living would help with my mental health and I believe that can be true, but with the extent of my mental illness, I believe it would only make a dent).

In the process of shedding my “crunchy mama” image, I have picked up some bad habits.  Some of those include “Little” and “Debbie” in the title.  Along with “Coke” and “Zero.”  I mean, I have always struggled with Coke Zero, but I have hit an all time high with how much I drink.  I buy 24 packs and go through them quickly.  It’s bad.

I have also gained about 25 pounds this past year and a half.  Some of that is because of my medicine.  But I do believe some of that is the fact that my eating habits are not near what they should be.

Today (after eating my processed/frozen crap for lunch), I decided that I need to make a change. I know HOW I should be eating; I’m just not doing it.  In fact, most of the foods that I should be eating are in my refrigerator and/or pantry.

My goal these next few days is to take a hard look at what I have been eating, and what I can do to replace the junk with healthy foods (for my family and myself).  I’m not planning to diet, but to just be healthy (will still allow balance for those times that it’s not possible to eat healthy).  Also, I have been spending WAY too much at Walmart, and I plan to switch over to HEB and try to reduce our grocery budget while still eating healthy.  I spend a LOT on junk that isn’t necessary, so I think it’s very possible to do.

Robert and I are going to Big Bend next week, then I plan to come back from that trip eating better and continuing the hiking that I have been doing (though this week we haven’t because of bad weather!).  The kids and I will hike every afternoon as our “PE.”  I am hoping that I am not so exhausted at the end of every day, I’m hoping to at least reduce the amount of Coke Zero that I drink, and I’m hoping to make treats just that… treats, not a daily thing.  I will get back to baking/making foods homemade again.  I love baking, why not use it for healthy foods?!  We have so much healthy food in our pantry!  A huge bag of steel cut oats, rolled oats, whole wheat flour, sucanat (a non-processed sweetener), raw honey, lots of coconut oil, etc.  I’m already equipped!  Now to just add to that the fresh, whole foods, and I’m all set!

Balance is a good and important thing.  But I haven’t been eating balanced.  I’ve just been eating badly.  And I feel worn out, exhausted, and I’m over weight.  I just want my health back.

Going back to the basics!