I had my three month appointment with my psychiatrist on Thursday. It’s always interesting to see her because somehow despite the fact that she sees a ton of patients and only sees me every three months, she remembers details about … Continue reading
Have you wondered what I mean when I say I’m working with a dietitian that focuses on Intuitive Eating and positive body image? Keep reading.
I have been working pretty closely with my dietitian and have been learning so much. I thought I knew everything I needed to, but I’m finding I know and understand very little.
What I’m learning:
- She (Tracy) is helping me work through so much more than eating “healthy” (everyone has a different view of healthy)
- She is helping me determine when I’m hungry and when I’m full… trying to start at a 3/4 and ending on a 7/8. 0/1 is starving… shaky, faint, tired, etc. 9/10 is extremely stuffed. Also on this journal I discuss feelings, self care, movement, what my intentions are for the day. She has told me that I am not eating enough (I’m still restricting) and that the amount I’m eating doesn’t make me satisfied enough. It’s been eye opening.
- There is a reason for my constant drinking of coffee and Coke Zero. For me the main reason for my Coke Zero intake is that I am replacing the alcohol. The main thing I drank when I was drinking was either beer or Coke Zero and rum or vodka. I pretty much drank most of the afternoon/evening; not every day, but most. Also, it is helping me numb out some feelings that maybe aren’t pleasant. So she is having me journal those feelings. Coffee is mostly because I’m home most of the morning, and I’m just used to always have a drink of something. The main thing that she and my counselor want me to do is reduce/eliminate caffeine. My counselor wants me to eliminate it because it affects my anxiety. Tracy wants me to reduce it because it affects my hunger and satiety cues, which actually means I don’t eat enough. This is interesting stuff.
- The main things that she said I should do for my health right now (besides working on reducing caffeine through sodas and coffee) are to add some more fiber (through supplements or through food), take a multi vitamin and fish oil (which I’ve been doing since I was in rehab), and move my body regularly (doing what is joyful for me… no extreme exercise right now). Joyful movement for me means hiking and walking. I love being outside in nature, but I don’t like running here because of the hills and rocks. So hiking and walking it is. I don’t like anything indoors (like videos, weight lifting, etc). And I’ve learned that’s okay. I need to do what I enjoy so that I actually do it.
- She’s helping me learn to give myself grace with food and drink. Reducing caffeine, coffee, and soda is going to be a process. She wants me to give myself grace when I feel like I’m not doing this right. There is no right way. Also, I have been conditioned a certain way about food, and I need to let that go in order to learn to eat intuitively. I have a history of restriction and she says that I’m still restricting (I fill out an intuitive eating food journal).
- She is helping me pinpoint more areas of self care that I can pick up to help me through my day. There’s a whole week in the program in which she pinpoints things that we can do for self care. She also told me yesterday to take time every day to just enjoy something without doing. Yesterday I sat on my porch without electronics or anything and watching the birds and squirrels while listening to music that makes me happy. It was so nice.
- One of the biggest things that she’s doing is helping me work through fat phobia and why I fear gaining weight. I can tell that I’m still gaining weight (and will continue, possibly, because of my medication), and it is causing me anxiety. She is working through the whys. Why do I fear that? What has society taught me about weight gain that makes me think being bigger is a bad thing? What will happen because of weight gain? How will it affect me as a person? I am so much more than my body. What things do I have to offer that have nothing to do with my body? Emily Wierenga says in her book Almost Anorexic, “In a society that equates thin with beauty and beauty with love, we long to be thin, and so we hide. Beneath layers of guilt and shame, not seeing ourselves for the royalty that we are.”
- “Each person has a ‘natural weight’, the weight at which the body is and feels healthy and is free of risk factors within our control.” Lower weight doesn’t necessarily equal healthier. I had high cholesterol even at my lowest weight (it’s hereditary and one of my medications causes high cholesterol). I know people that are thin and have diabetes and high blood pressure. I also know over-weight people that are completely healthy.
- “We have a set point for the number of fat cells in our body and how little fat those cells can contain. Body fat is not intrinsically unhealthy tissue and does not lead to death.”
- Healing happens in a relaxation response… focus on self care and reducing stress and anxiety first
- We have different feelings when our needs are met vs. when our needs are not met.
- I could go on and on!
Through all of this, I am taking better care of myself.
I wasn’t sure if this program would be worth the money, but it has already been worth it and I’m only on Month 1, Week 3 of a 3 month program! I can’t wait to see what I continue to learn!